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So it happens, right? You hear someone talking, who is less socially savvy than average and without knowing it, they say something that could have a second, more bawdy or impure meaning and you feel bad for this person because they don’t know what they’ve done, and they might be embarrassed if they did.
I think it more reasonable that that person should feel pity for you, because you have (unintentionally or intentionally) been exposed to subject matter that has put this second meaning into your head. And now you have to think about it when it’s referred to.
When I die, God isn’t going to give me bonus points for a lack of naivety.
If a man commits adultery today, it does not mean:
- That he was a hypocrite fifteen years ago when he said that another man’s adultery was foolish and wrong.
- That his religion has no value or that he has never worshipped God.
- That all statements of truth or value that he has ever made are to be disregarded.
- That things he has previously said were wrong or sinful are now more likely to be okay.
In short – the sinful part of hypocrisy is the fall, it’s not the statements about good and evil before the fall. And it’s only hypocrisy if the man is sinning at the same time that he is making value judgments.
On this issue – here is something from CS Lewis’ Screwtape Letters:
I have been writing hitherto on the assumption that the people in the next pew afford no rational ground for disappointment. Of course if they do—if the patient knows that the woman with the absurd hat is a fanatical bridge-player or the man with squeaky boots a miser and an extortioner—then your task is so much the easier. All you then have to do is to keep out of his mind the question “If I, being what I am, can consider that I am in some sense a Christian, why should the different vices of those people in the next pew prove that their religion is mere hypocrisy and convention?”
This John Grisham book is about a third string professional quarterback who gets called to play for a team in Italy’s version of the NFL. It is not literature, it is not thrilling, but it’s not a bad book.
Everything I Ever Needed To Know About Football I Learned From “Playing For Pizza”
The hardest part of my job is telling a player that it’s time to quit. You’ve played all your life, it’s all you know, all you dream about. No one is ever ready to quit. *** There is a moment or two in every game when a quarterback has a receiver open, a split second to throw the ball, and a massive roaring lineman charging the pocket unblocked. The quarterback has a choice. He can grit his teeth, sacrifice his body, put his team first, throw the ball, make the play and get crushed, or he can tuck it and run and pray he lives for another play. *** If a quarterback isn’t happy, then there will be many problems. *** The drudgery of practice is the same everywhere. From Iowa to Canada to Parma, and all those stops in between, the worst part of the game, in whatever language, is the numbing tedium of physical conditioning and the repetition of running play after play. *** We all quit at some point. *** I never got hurt on defense. *** During halftime, the first five minutes inside a locker room are dangerous. *** Football is a game of emotion, most of it grounded on fear, and every coach wants his team clamoring for violence. *** The Super Bowl takes two weeks to prepare for.
. . . that I find this quite funny?
Humans have a tendency to think this: I have always been here (in many senses of the word) and I will always be here.
I was proud of my kids as the six oldest sat very nicely in the second row while Debbie and I sang in church choir for 35 minutes.
Even though it was rainy, my wife cheerfully agreed to a State Park Geocache search (O’Brien). It was a tricky multi cache search, but of course Anna found it with no problem.
We had an experience which I have wished for. We watched a storm from the shelter of overhanging rocks as we stood at the base of a cliff over looking the St. Croix river. It made my kids nervous, but I loved the serenity of watching it from natural shelter.
For those of you who are North Shore Fans, did you know there’s a Betty’s Pies in Mahtomedi? There is.
Picnics so far: 34. Picnics this time last year: 30.
Picnics required to beat last years record: 82.
. . . Just finished reading the first part to my kids.
Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From Little Pilgrim’s Progress
I must go to the king, because I have a burden to carry and no one but He can take it from me. *** The King loves little children. If you will obey Him and begin your journey, He will watch over you al the way and when you reach the Celestial City you will be happy forever. *** “I love them that love me, and those that seek me early shall find me.” That is the King’s promise to all His little children. So do not cry anymore but go quickly to that gate and knock. *** Knock and it shall be opened unto you. *** The Way of the King is always quite straight, and all paths that lead out of it are crooked. And the wrong paths are generally wide, while the right path is narrow. If you look carefully, you will not mistake it. *** You must remember that everything I show you is meant to teach you something, and you may learn from this that it is not wise to wish too eagerly for pleasant things until the Kings sends them. He knows exactly what is good for each of us, and He will always give us what will make us really happy. If we try to be happy in our own way, we are sure to be disappointed. *** The servants of the Wicked Prince are always on the watch for careless pilgrims. *** He shall give his angels charge over thee. *** The King has been very good to you. You have met with some enemies and some troubles, but He has helped you always, and He will help you still if you trust him. *** He is our Prince, and He did not mind the pain. I must not, either, because I am the King’s servant, and it is written in my Book that the King’s servants are to be like the Prince.
See All Ogden Stories See Why I Wrote Them
The Adventures Of Ogden: Man Of The Suburb
Ogden nervously looked around the room of six people, all seated around a large conference table. He looked up at their supervisor, Somerset, who was standing at the podium about to begin the meeting. He looked ill at ease as well.
“I have asked Ogden here to attend our weekly group so that he can begin his investigation.”
“Investigation?” asked Jim, incredulously, “Of what?”
“You know good and well of what, Jim. One of us deleted or destroyed the pre-production FASER database. Now whether this was an accident or . . . intentional, we need to determine how and why it was lost, in order to prevent losses of this sort in the future.”
Ogden studied the eyes of everyone present. This news obviously sat well with no one. But almost certainly one of them had caused this to happen. Everyone who had access to the data was present. And as he looked around the room, there were plenty of possible motives.
Perhaps Thelma, the nearly retired programmer of the legacy system which was being replaced by FASER, deleted the file with the thought that nothing could replace the work that she had done so well (or so she thought!) in the late eighties.
Or the culprit might have been Fred, the developer of the current system. Somerset had just told Ogden that he had great plans for this database. Perhaps Fred was not interested in all of that work.
Still, it could have been Beatrice, the designer, champion and overall mastermind of the tool. Recent rumors spreading around the Demand Chain organization had led Ogden to believe that the numbers which this new database were reporting were not nearly as favorable as Beatrice had hoped. Perhaps she had killed the file before the unpositive numbers were made official.
But what about Perry, the departmental data specialist? Wasn’t it common knowledge that he disagreed with the way that the data formulas were being calculated? Hadn’t Ogden, just last week, sat across a lunchroom table from Perry and heard him voice this opinion?
“Ogden, it is well know around the organization,” Perry had said as he finished up his ‘Mexican Surprise.’
“It is well known that the Faser Cart_con_diff_extra field, which is what the whole reporting scheme is based on, should take into account the work_day_Actual_to_Exact_pallet field. Not including those factors skews the data by as much as 14 percent. But no one is willing to admit it. And I’ll be darned if this goes out like that!”
As the department meeting continued, there were many unanswered questions. But a few things were certain. The FASER (Formalized Account Servicing of Expedited Reporting, pronounced ‘Phaser’) database was no longer there, and (conveniently for the culprit) since the database had not yet been placed on a server that was regularly backed up, there was no way that the file could be retrieved. It was permanently gone.
As Ogden left the meeting, he felt that the first thing to do would be to check the room which held the server on which the database had been kept. He entered and looked at the machine. It looked unremarkable – there was nothing to note about it. He went to leave the room but something caught his eye. He looked again and saw a slip of paper lying behind the server. He picked it up and turned it over. It said:
Note to self: Faser – Check the dictionary.
Two questions flicked through Ogden’s mind: First – Could this be a clue? And secondly, can you retrieve fingerprints from a piece of paper?
==
Join us next month for the exciting conclusion!
When, due to some unfairness that was not a result of sin, you receive some good thing, make yourself aware of it. Thank God for it.
This happens a lot in America.
Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From Calvin – Part 14
Here we are, perched at the peak of Mount Maim! Why? Because I like to experience life to the fullest! I say you don’t fully APPRECIATE life until you risk losing it! I like to stare death straight in the eye and make him blink! If your adrenalin isn’t pumping, you’re not really living! *** Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. *** It’s sad how some people can’t handle a little variety. *** Ow! What am I doing on the ceiling? Hmm… nothing else fell up. Just me. This is very strange. Even if I try to jump to the floor, I land back on the ceiling! My personal gravity must have reversed polarity! You’d thing this is the type of thing we’d learn about in science class, but no, we learn about cirrus clouds. *** Having my personal gravity polarity reversed is a nuisance. How am I going to get up to the floor? There’s not anything on the ceiling that I could even climb up. How am I supposed to do my homework when I’m trapped on the ceiling? It’s impossible. *** Suffice to say I cannot add, so ask some other kid. *** I watched a nature program on TV last night. Afterward, I asked Dad if life was really nothing more than surviving long enough to reproduce before you became food for something else. *** Oh brother! Another “discussion” about my study habits and the importance of homework. I’ve tried explaining that it’s hard to study when one’s size suddently starts increasing, but does SHE care?! Hah! No, it’s just blah blah blah, like it’s all MY fault! Mom’s never been as big as a galaxy, so she can’t understand how anyone ELSE could be! Sheesh. Oops, it looks like she’s wrapping up. Better start nodding. *** For “Show and Tell” today, I have something that will astound and amaze you! This little guy can… Have you all had your shots? *** See, it’s OK to fight just a little bit if you say you’re sorry afterward. *** Hi Mom! I’m making my own newspaper to report the events of our household. That’s nice. Now, I’m looking for a page one lead story. Can I interview you? OK, what are you cutting up there for dinner? Fish? Knife wielding mother hacks ichthyoid! Grim melee is evening ritual! Suburban family decours victim! *** Hi Dad. I’m making my own newspaper to report the events of our household. Would you help me out? Sure, what do you need? Well, you can take your pick. Either you can give me 15 bucks to pay my labor and production costs… Or you can be the subject of a comic strip called “Dopey Dad”. So in the next panel, Dopey Dad yells, “It’s bed time for YOU, young man!” Hee Hee! Look how big I made his mouth!*
*Please do not take this as an implied consent to Mockery of Fatherhood
And now you ask that I should write
A poem - a risky thing, in light
Of what you know: that I am more
The preacher than the poet or
The artist. I am honored by
Your bravery, and I comply.
I do not grudge these sweet confines
Of rhyming pairs and metered lines.
They are old friends. They like it when
I bid them help me once again
To gather feelings into form
And keep them durable and warm.
Butter is better for you than any butter substitute.
This weekend (Sunday Evening) I competed against 6 worthy opponents and emerged victorious.
My kids and I have a wrestling game (I’ve mentioned this before) where I get on the floor and the six older kids (Foster, at six months, I deem too small) get on me and try to keep me from getting away.
The spoken rules are: no tickling or hitting (on the kids part as well as mine)
The spoken warning: They will probably feel pain when a brother jumps on top of them trying to position themselves to better entangle me.
The unspoken rule: I work to see to it that they don’t get injured.
I give them a minute to position themselves. One on each arm, one on each leg and two on my chest. And they say ‘go’ and I work to stand up. It is hard work.
This weekend it took me 8 minutes and 20 seconds to get them all off me. Daniel timed it.
The two youngest cried (at different points) for a half minute or so after getting pummeled in some way that hurt, but both soon joined back in.
Did I mention that it’s hard work? I was tired.
Someday my kids will be able to prevent me from escaping their loving clutches. But today is not that day.
Maybe when Foster is old enough to join in.
Picnics So Far:: 28 — Picnics at this point last year ::22 — Picnics to beat last years total :: 82
Just to let you all know –
We have finished the Fighter Verse* Song CD for Set D. It includes 30 songs with the exact words from the Fighter Verse bible passages (more than 100 verses.) I wrote about two thirds of the songs.
And there are two ways you can get it:
1. Go to the Children Desiring God Website and buy one. The introductory price is $7.50. You can also hear sample songs at this site.
2. Come to any of the 8 services on the three campus of Bethlehem this weekend and get one for free!
Can I just say - I am very pleased with how the songs turned out. There is a nice variety of styles, musicians and a mix of kids and adults singing. The artists who helped out put so much into it and the songs are fun and helpful for memorization.
* If you want to learn more about the Fighter Verse Program, you can go to our church’s website and read about it.
The LH Story (mentioned Monday) reminds me of two LH story stories.
One was at Promise Keepers back in the early 90’s. I went to two of those events (at the Metrodome) and the first one was at the height of it’s popularity. The Dome was full. This being true, I wonder if any of you were there and remember this. If so, let me know.
One of the first speakers told the LH story. It was fairly new back then and perhaps the majority of the men in the audience hadn’t heard it yet. It got a good response.
Imagine what went through the minds of the audience, several hours later, when the 4th (or 5th) speaker started out with “There once was a ship and the captain . . . “
You know your discomfort when a person you know starts telling you a story that he’s already told you. Fairly quickly you try to tell him, politely “Oh, I’ve already heard this one.”
Well, what if you can’t? And what if it’s sort of a long story? And what if you know that everyone else has heard the story? And what if ‘everyone else’ is five thousand people?
I don’t recall experiencing that kind of dread before or since.
Because, what are you supposed to do at the end of the story? Normally, when you’ve heard the story, you can give some kind of fake chuckle. But in this case, everyone around you would know that it’s fake.
And so, he finally, mercifully ended the story: “. . . . and the other voice came back over the radio “I’m on a lighthouse. . . . . . . .”
Silence. For too long. We didn’t know what to do. But the speaker salvaged it. Sort of.
He said, “God is the lighthouse!”
Okay, good. Here is something we can applaud. And we did, with relief.
I wonder if he ever found out.
I thought this up yesterday as I was driving home, listening to NPR financial news:
You can’t spell ‘quaGMire’ without GM.
Huh? Huh?
I have always thought that this story (at least 10 years old, fictional, oft used by motivational speakers and now an urban legend) needed a different ending. So I’ve taken the liberty to write it. But first the story -
On a dark, foggy night, a ship came upon the light of another vessel. The captain radioed his counterpart —
“Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.”
Through the crackly radio came the reply:
“Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision”
The captain stood his ground. He radioed: “This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.”
And again came the reply: “No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.”
Outraged, the captain spoke loudly into the radio: “THIS IS AN AIRCRAFT CARRIER, AND THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT’S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH.”
And came the reply: “This is a lighthouse. Your call.”
Moral: Reconsider your assumptions.
Here’s how I think the story should end. . . .
Unfortunately, due to the lengthy duration of this conversation, there was no chance for the Aircraft Carrier to alter it’s course and smashed into the cliff just under the lighthouse. Several people were killed, hundreds were injured, and the ship was crippled.
After an investigation, the lighthouse-manning second class seaman was found to be guilty of insubordination and reckless activity resulting in much harm. He was thrown into prison for 30 years.
Moral: Don’t be a cocky weasel.
Which moral do you like better?
