It’s well known that I have enjoyed this classic movie. Anyone who knows me knows I like to pepper my conversation* with quotes from it.

You might think, “It’s just a movie. How appropriate could it be to refer to it several times a day.”

And the answer comes back: Really appropriate. Try it at home, work or church.

For example . . .

- when someone says “We’ll never _____.” respond “Nonsense, you only say that because no one ever has.”
- when someone continues to repeat a word, you say “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. Note: This works even if it does mean what they think it means.
- when someone talks like an expert, respond, “oopoopoo {remember the slight lilt there}, look who knows so much {lilt there, too}.
- when someone suggests that something might happen or might be true, say. “It’s possible. Pig.” {note: not recommended for dates}**
- in the second before you’re about to be hit with something, say, about it, “I don’t think they exist”
- when someone indicates that another person is doing well, say, “If he/she is otherwise when I find him/her, I shall be very put out.”
- when asked your name, respond, “No one of consequence”
- and when someone repeats a request that you don’t want to comply with, say “Get used to disappointments”
- when someone remembers something that was left out in previous conversation, say “Why didn’t you list that among our assets in the first place!?”
- If someone sees apprehension in your behavior, state: I wasn’t nervous. Maybe I was a little bit concerned but that’s not the same thing.
- If someone yells “Stop it!” ask, “Does anybody want a peanut?”
- If someone has just done a really good job of explaining something, say “Truly you have a dizzying intellect.”
- After any complement {regarding mental prowess}, yell, “Wait till I get started!”
- After any complement {regarding physical prowess}, state “It’s not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don’t even exercise.”
- When someone asks for something you know they know you have, initially claim to not have it. Then when pressed, say “Oh you mean this _____.”
- When ever you are successful at something tricky in any competitive conversation, say “You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders!”
- And obviously, if someone knocks you down into a ravine, say “As you wish”

Have I missed any?

In any case, you see? It’s easy! Try it out at your next social gathering. Have fun storming the castle!