Make no mistake, there were some good songs from the 70’s. It is perhaps a flaw of mine, but I like listening to secular music and there are many songs from that decade that I sing along with in my car (assuming I’m alone.) These generally come from the first two thirds of the decade (say 70 to 76) But in between the middle ages of the mid to early 70’s and the Happy Pop Renaissance of the 80’s was the musical dark ages of 78 and 79.  This sad period produced music that was largely comprised of unsingable melody-lacking garbage-work.

(Remember: this is a blog – I’m supposed to use hyperbole)

One of the most unsingable songcraft examples was a harshly mind-breaking ditty entitled “Brick House” Let’s looks at a few of the lyrics, shall we? And non-secular music listeners may want to avert your eyes – this isn’t pleasant:

She’s a brick—-house
Mighty mighty, just lettin’ it all hang out
She’s a brick—-house
The lady’s stacked and that’s a fact,
ain’t holding nothing back. 

And if you haven’t heard the song, know that these words, degenerate as they are, actually look more promising than the song is in reality. And yes, there is a several second gap between the title words. What the singer did in concert between those songs, I don’t know. Perhaps knit a sweater?

So, you might suggest, listen to MPR or KTIS! Why are you wasting time listening to this? It a good point, but let it be known that when I hear this song on the radio I am generally able to turn the channel before “—-house” is heard. The reason I bring it up now is because there is a furniture store, from which I have actually bought furniture (years ago), but I see only has stores in the Midwest and west coast, called Wicks.

And their marketing department has decided to inflict us with . . . yes:

“It’s a Wicks . . . . House.” with the same peace-piercing nasal tone quality as the original.

That’s where their creativity ends, there are no other words sung in the commercial, just the hot new deal that you can get there.

Now what were they thinking, one wonders . . . “Hmmm, perhaps people will be drawn to come to our stores if we use an offensive, 30 year old song that is appealing to (currently) about zero people and thought negatively by the majority of those who were listening to music back in those dark days. Hopefully people won’t remember that the original song spoke of the woman as an Amazon.”