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Everything I ever need to know I learned from

the Princess Bride (Part 2) 

You’ve got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance. It’s going to get you into trouble someday  ··· I just want you to feel you’re doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed. ··· This is true love – you think this happens every day? ··· No one withstands The Machine. ··· Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while. ··· You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles. ··· So, let’s just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity so be honest. How do you feel? ··· Get some rest. If you haven’t got your health, then you haven’t got anything. ··· Have fun storming the castle. ··· Well, why didn’t you list that among our assets in the first place? ··· Oh, you mean this gate key. ··· There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours. ··· Sonny, true love is the greatest thing, in the world-except for a nice MLT – mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They’re so perky, I love that. ··· I’ll explain and I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon. ‘To the pain’ means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right. Your ears you keep and I’ll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, “Dear God! What is that thing,” will echo in your perfect ears. That is what ‘to the pain’ means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever. It’s possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It’s conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I’m only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again… perhaps I have the strength after all. Drop your sword! ··· Is very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it’s over, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life. ··· There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there’s usually only one thing you can do. Go through his clothes and look for loose change. ··· My brains, his steel, and your strength against sixty men, and you think a little head jiggle is supposed to make me happy? ··· Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning. ··· Since the invention of the kiss there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. The End. ··· As you wish.

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