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Everything I ever needed to know I learned from Spinal Tap 

Compiled by Jamsco – who does not recommend this movie 

In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, lived an ancient race of people… the Druids. No one knows who they were or what they were doing… ··· Well, I suppose I could work in a shop of some kind or… or do um… freelance… selling of some sort of… um… product, you know… A salesman, like, maybe in a haberdasher, or maybe like a… um, a chapeau shop, or something… you know, like: “Would you… what size do you wear, sir?” and then you answer me. . .  “I think we have that…”, you see, something like that I could do. “No! We’re all out, do you wear black?”, see, that sort of thing, I think I could probably muster up. ··· Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful. ··· You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very much like – I’m really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it’s sort of in between those, really. It’s like a Mach piece, really. ··· I think B minor is the saddest of keys ··· Well, I don’t really think that the end can be assessed as of itself as being the end, because what does the end feel like? It’s like saying when you try to extrapolate the end of the universe, you say, if the universe is indeed infinite, then how – what does that mean? How far is all the way, and then if it stops, what’s stopping it, and what’s behind what’s stopping it? So, what’s the end, you know, is my question to you ··· Here lies David St. Hubbins… and why not? ··· We say, “Love your brother.” We don’t say it really, but – We don’t literally say it. We don’t really, actually mean it. No, we don’t believe it either, but – But we’re not racists. That message should be clear. ··· You can’t really dust for vomit. ··· The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and . . . – Well, it’s one louder, isn’t it? It’s not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You’re on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you’re on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where? Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do? Put it up to eleven. Eleven. Exactly. One louder. ··· It’s such a fine line between stupid and clever. ··· I’m sure I’d feel much worse if I weren’t under such heavy sedation. ··· Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It’s just not really widely reported. ··· It’s like, how much more black could this be? And the answer is none. None more black. ··· . . . These go to eleven.

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June 2007