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Another College Poem

The Road’s White Line 

I find myself leaving the state of the sad occurrences

            But not of it occurring

And as I sit facing a straight dark road

I find it difficult not to dwell on it


As I speak with two friends


Both of whom have the situation more settled than me

I find myself wanting, waiting, wishing, willing


As I find myself staring at the white line


Changing, yet constant


I find the parallels altogether too silly.

This is the first Everything that I wrote (also back in college) and it’s more of a straight parody of the original “Kindergarted” Everything. As I read it, I note that it is both Dark and Cheesy while diminishing neither.

Most of what I never needed to know I learned about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in Junior High. Immaturity and selfishness was not in the sandbox but there in the great cafeteria at middle school.


These are the things I learned: Mock everything, no need to put things back where you found them, the janitor will pick it up. Don’t take things that aren’t yours if anyone is looking. You can never have too much fun. Math and English and social studies are all boring and pointless.


Stay up as late as you can and stay in bed as late as you can. Be aware of peer pressure. We are insecure, so we make fun of each other and hurt each other and no one knows why, but we are all like that.


I learned that cheap, mean, dirty jokes get better laughs than clean clever jokes. I learned to be insecure about my body and that you needed to shower everyday and use deodorant or else people would point and make remarks behind your back.


Think of what a more pleasant world it would be if we all – the whole world – completely forgot what we learned in Junior High. What if the basic policy of our nations wasn’t “I better be careful and show my strength because if he senses my insecurity he might hit me. Or worse – insult me.” It would be more peaceful if we stuck to what we learned in kindergarten and forgot that when you go out in the world is best to have your hair neatly combed.

I made this suggestion in a comment of another blog, and was asked about it, so I thought I’d expand on my answer here:

You can glean information about the Honeymoon planner’s feelings about his forthcoming marraige by looking at the results of his planning.  Said another way – if it’s the guy who plans the Honeymoon (as it should be? With some input from his fiance?) you can tell a little bit about his attitude about being married by what he chooses for his honeymoon.

Thus the guy who really wants to impress others with his marraige goes all out on the honeymoon. The guy who isn’t going to put much effort into his marraige, won’t put too much into the honeymoon. A Long Weekend’s good enough!*

Personally, I am the guy who is always trying to keep our family busy (some say too busy), and this showed in my plans for our honeymoon. Not enough down time. I regret that part, but it was still great fun.

But it can be an interesting question that I pose to all married readers: As you look back – in what way did your honeymoon predict what your marraige has been like?

*I should note that some couples get a free pass from this evaluation: Like the couple I just met who had their marraige postponed three months because she was in a serious car accident three weeks before the big date. The best next available time was Labor day and they were in college. So a long weekend it was. 

But ‘I had to work’ doesn’t cut it.

The worst day of the week for the Fourth of July to land on is Wednesday 

After a pretty big Sunday breakfast and a big Sunday dinner, we sometimes don’t feel like a big Sunday supper. Too much effort (for a Sabbath) and we don’t need a big meal. So sometimes we just make popcorn and ‘serve’ it with fruit.


This puts the kids (and I must admit, me) in the mood for a movie. So last night, the kids saw us making popcorn and asked “Are we watching a movie?” So I acquiesced.


We didn’t feel like renting, we don’t own that many movies and . . . . Hasn’t it been awhile since we watched Star Wars?


So Star Wars (Episode 4) it is. The kids pronounce it Starwers. Only the older three have seen it. Now I know some of you are thinking – you let your four year old watch Star Wars? I know, I know. . . .


Our kids were immediately into it and watching with rapt attention.


I’ve mentioned before my appreciation of the scene with all of the evil generals sitting around the big round table on the Death Star. Before this scene we have only seen Darth Vader as the Ruthless Powerful Evil Bad Guy. But this scene puts him against the weasely, upper-lip wrinking, over confident Super Weapon constructor, who begins to (unwisely, if you ask me) taunt him and totally dis* the force. With Darth Vader standing only 10 feet away! What?


So Darth gently turns and begins to walk towards him. And then the Death Star Builder’s neck begins to convulse and eventually he collapses onto the table after Vader releases him. And you find yourself thinking: Well, at least Darth Vader knows how to handle insolence from a force-hater. You have to give him that. This is the beginning of seeing good and likability in him. Like I’ve said, this is the best way to write a bad guy.


So, like I say, I’m watching this scene with my kids and my five year old (youngest) daughter Adelyn is sitting in my lap, possibly because the cantina scene has made her a little nervous. And after watching Darth Vader release the annoying man from the death grip, Adelyn – sweet, innocent, frilly dress loving Adelyn – says “He has coo powers!”


Translation: He has cool powers!


Tears came to my eyes.


* I should note that this is the first time I have ever written or otherwise uttered the word ‘dis.’ How’d it go?

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