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The Adventures of Ogden: Man of the Suburb
Episode 2 – October – Catch 22

 “What’s up, Doc?” asked Ogden, as Somerset walked into his cubicle. He always said this when greeting him, because Somerset had a doctorate in database reconfiguring.
 “You wanted help for the departmental outing?”
 “Oh that’s right. I didn’t want to have this responsibility, but Susan said, “Just do it,” so here I am.
 “So do you have any games?”
 “Would you believe I do have one? I was thinking that we could come up with a game that gives people several catch phrases from popular media and asks them to name the TV show, commercial or movie that each catch phrase came from.”
 “Hey, that sounds like a good idea.” said Somerset “Should we try to come up with a few now?”
 “If you have time.” said Ogden, happy to get the help. But after working for several minutes, they found that their idea was trickier to implement than they thought it would be.
 “Boy, I’m having difficulty coming up with any more of these, and we only have three so far,” stated Ogden
 “Yeah, I’m an engineer not a media buff. They’re great, but I fear that three phrases won’t make for a very good game, know what I mean?”
 “I agree. Everyone is gonna ask – ‘Where’s the beef?’”
 They pressed on for a few more minutes.

 Suddenly Ogden shouted “Noonan!” and Somerset turned around to see the technical support “Smart Guy” Doug Noonan, who had just walked past the cubicle, come back.
 “Are you talking to me?”
 “Do you know any catch phrases?”
 “Whatcha talking about, Ogden?”
 “We’re trying to come up with some well known – “
 “Actually, I need to run – I’ve got to stop a query on Fatima’s machine. It keeps going, and going . . .”
 “Oh. . . Never mind.” said Ogden, understanding the urgency of the problem.
 “I’ll be back” said Doug, but Ogden feared they wouldn’t see him again for awhile. Fatima’s queries were always a mess.

 Ogden picked up the phone and said “Maybe someone else could help us.”
 “Perhaps, but who you gonna call?”
 “Good question.”
 “Say, I know,” suggested Somerset “What about Bob? He’s always quoting movies.”
 “Good Idea, and he’s probably over there right now.” Ogden turned his head and yelled, “Say Bob?”.
Bob sat on the on the other side of the cubical wall from Ogden.
 “Yep?” came Bob’s reply.
 “Can you come over here? I’ve got an offer you can’t refuse.”
 Bob came around and poked his head in “Go ahead, make my day.”
 “I’ve been put in charge of the departmental outing,” began Ogden
 “Ooh, I hate it when that happens”
 “And I’m trying to figure out a game for it that uses catch phrases.” Ogden pointed at his computer “See?”
 “I see nothing.” said Bob, squinting. Ogden looked to see that the screen saver had come on. He wiggled the mouse and the short list came back on the screen.
 “We hardly have any ideas. Can you help us?”
 It was at this point that they all heard the sound of Bob’s phone ringing.
 “Doh! There’s my phone. I’ll have to get it. May the force be with you,” said Bob as he left. Ogden and Somerset watched him go.
 “No luck there, I guess” said Ogden

 “Hey I know!” blurted Somerset “What about that funny movie that was out a few years ago about the wacky database administrators. What was that called again?”
 “I’m not sure I recall the movie.”
 “‘Query This!’, That’s it!”
 “I don’t think I saw it. Was there a catch phrase in that one?”
 “Sure! ‘Select this, buddy!’ Don’t tell me you don’t remember that!”
 “Again, I’m pretty sure that I didn’t see that movie.”
 “Oh, but everyone was saying it for years. Its funny how a phrase like that can be used in everyday conversation.”
 “Uh, yeah. . . its funny.” And with great hesitation, Ogden put it in the list.
 “Well, that’s four,” he said “Maybe we should quit for now.”
 “Yeah, maybe we’ll just have to sit on it for awhile.”

 This they did and a few days later Ogden decided that maybe their party didn’t really need a game.
 For those of you playing at home, there are 22.

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