Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From Calvin – Part 5

Tigers will do anything for a tuna fish sandwich. *** You know you’ll hate something when they won’t tell you what it is. *** Outrage! Why should I go to bed? I’m not tired! It’s only 7:30! This is tyranny! *** Leave it to a girl to take all the fun out of discrimination. *** Hello, Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am? *** It says here that by the age of six … most children have seen a million murders on television. I find that very disturbing! It means I’ve been watching all the wrong channels. *** I’m just fine the way I am! Why should I change? In fact, I think it’s high time the world started changing to suit me! I don’t see why I should do all the changing around here! If the new year requires resolutions, I say it’s up to everyone else, not me! I don’t need to improve! Everyone else does! *** Blustery cold days should be spent propped up in bed with a mug of hot chocolate and a pile of comic books. *** Nobody knows how to pamper like a mom. *** You know how Einstein got bad grades as a kid? Well, mine are even worse! *** The planet Mercury was named after a roman god with winged feet. Mercury was the god of flowers and bouquets, which is why today he is a registered trademark of FTD florists. Why they named a planet after this guy. I can’t imagine. … um back to you, Susie. *** Physical education is what you learn from having your face in someone’s armpit right before lunch. *** I haven’t shaved for six years. I seem to be cursed with a thin beard. *** I’ve got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts. *** Saturday is the best day of the week. No demands at all! Perfect freedom! The whole day stretches before us with unlimited opportunity! And what better way to appreciate that opportunity than by squandering it watching cartoons all day! *** Life’s a lot more fun when you’re not responsible for your actions.

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