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Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From Calvin – Part 7

Your gender would be a lot more tolerable if it wasn’t so darn cynical. *** This probably just goes to show something, but I sure don’t know what. *** That’s one of the remarkable things about life. It’s never so bad that it can’t get worse. *** I wonder if my life will flash before my eyes. That’s the problem with being six years old … my life won’t take very long to watch. *** I sure like summer vacation. *** The problem with having a tiger for a friend is that he always appears out of nowhere, coming at you at 90 miles an hour *** There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want. *** Most people don’t sleep well next to a hungry tiger. *** I think rituals are important. MY favorite ritual is eating three bowls of “chocolate frosted sugar bombs” and watching TV cartoons all Saturday morning. After a few hourse, I’m so overstimulated I can’t sit still or even think straight. I achieve a lower consciousness. *** The secret is to suppress the gag reflex. *** Those TV nature programs will be the death of me yet. *** Space travel makes you realize just how small we really are. When you see Earth as a tiny blue speck in the infinite reaches of space, you have to wonder about the mysteries of creation. Surely we’re all part of some great design, no more or less important than anything else in the Universe. Surely everything fits together and has a purpose, a reason for being. Doesn’t it make you wonder? *** Mars may be a little dull, but it’s better than earth. *** You know, when you think about it, our lives are pretty nice. A lot of kids don’t have as good of a home life as we do. We really can’t complain. *** I don’t see home anyone could ever fall in love. *** Few things are less comforting than a tiger who’s up too late. *** I think people worry too much about little things. All they do is make themselves unhappy that way. Why get an ulcer over things that don’t really matter? *** I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know. *** Mom would be a lot more fun if she was a little more gullible. *** Ever sit and watch ants? Look at this one. He’s carrying a crumb that’s bigger than he is, and he’s RUNNING. And if you put an obstacle in front of him, he’ll scramble like crazy until he gets across it. He doesn’t let anything stop him. I just can’t identify with that kind of work ethic.

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February 2008