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Everything I Ever I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From Calvin (From Calvin & Hobbes) Part 9

Well Dad, we’re right down to the wire, and the polls say you won’t be Dad here much longer. It seems you’re just not likeable enough. *** Those polled continue to find you a cold fish. If you want some advice, I suggest you do something extraordinarily likeable in the next two minutes. ***  I keep forgetting that rules are only for little nice people. *** It must be awful to be a girl. I’m sure it’s frustrating knowing that men are bigger, stronger and better at abstract thought than women. Really, if you’re a girl, what would make you go on living? *** Mothers are the necessity of invention. ***  I’ve never liked crayons very much. They just don’t have any flavor at all. *** Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery. ***  Is it truly being good if the only reason I behave well is so I can get more loot at Christmas? I mean, really, all I’m doing is saying I can be bribed. Is that good enough, or do I have to be good in my heart and spirit? In other words, do I really have to BE good or do I have to ACT good? ***  I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone’s expectations. ***  I say it’s a fallacy that kids need 12 years of school! Three months is plenty! *** There’s nothing prettier than new fallen snow on a clear freezing moonlit night. …through a window, that is. *** Pretty convenient how every time I build character, HE saves a couple of hundred dollars. *** I think the short attention span of television is great. As far as I’M concerned, if something is so complicated that you can’t explain it in 10 seconds, then it’s probably not worth knowing anyway. *** My time is valuable. I can’t go thinking about one subject on end. *** There’s something magical about having a fire. The crackles and snaps, the warm flickering light… everything always seems safe and cozy if you’re sitting in front of a fire. *** I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood. *** Childhood is short and maturity is forever.

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June 2008