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Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From Calvin from Calvin & Hobbes (Part 11)

I’m not having enough fun right now. I’m just having a LITTLE bit of fun. I should be having LOTS of fun. It’s Sunday. I’ve just got a few precious hours of freedom left before I have to go to school tomorrow. Between now and bedtime, I have to squeeze all the fun possible out of every minute! I don’t want to waste a second of liberty! Each moment I should be able to say, “I’m having the time of my life right now!” But here I am and I’m NOT having the time of my life! Valuable minutes are disappearing forever, even as we speak! We’ve got to have MORE fun! C’mon!  ***  When you’re SERIOUS about having fun, it’s not much fun at all! *** Considering that my life’s in shambles right now, could you at least take the blame? *** What’s the point of a propeller beanie if you can’t even fly when you wear it? *** Mom sure can make someone want to do something. *** Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around. *** Whenever I need to do some serious thinking, I go for a walk in the woods. There are always a million distractions out here.  *** I don’t believe in ethics any more. As far as I’m concerned, the ends justify the means. Get what you can while the getting’s good – that’s what I say! Might makes right! The winners write the history books! It’s a dog-eat-dog world, so I’ll do whatever I have to, and let others argue about whether it’s “right”or not. I didn’t mean for EVERYONE, you dolt! Just ME! *** I’ve been thinking. Suppose I grow up to be one of the world’s greatest men of all time. Suppose my name will be an inspiration to humanity for eons to come! What will the history books say? They’ll say, “Much of his childhood was spent unwillingly in the bathtub. *** My likely historical significance is a terrible burden.

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October 2008