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21 Reasons my grieving period after my Dad’s death (one year ago today) was not very long, or (more accurately) reasons I’m not troubled by this.

1. My grief was not ambiguous. It was not confusing.

2. He was not really healthy and was experiencing more and more pain.

3. He had a great funeral which honored both him and God.

4. He had great last words.

5. He lived 22 years past his quadruple bypass surgery.

6. I had him as a dad for 28 years.

7. His death was peaceful.

8. I was able to spend a lot of time with him before he died.

9. There was so much support from people from 3 churches.

10. My mom was ready to let him go.

11. It is not ridiculous for a man who is 78 to die. Especially if he has very poor circulation, has diabetes, and significant heart problems.

12. He was saved by God.

13. Given some of his end-of-life documentation, I feel confident that we made wise decisions.

14. Most people have to experience the death of their parents.

15. My Dad was a gift from God – a bonus Dad after my first Dad died.

16. I had already had an opportunity to tell him how much good he had done for me.

17. If he had lived he would have had a very long recovery and probably would never have gotten out of bed again.

18. Psalm 34

19. My mom is handling life pretty well without him.

20. God is sovereign over life and death

21. I’ll see my Dad again.


11 Reasons I still miss him

1. I don’t really know how to clean a fish, he cleaned hundreds in his life.

2. My kids still miss him.

3. I’d like to talk to him.

4. He loved giving my kids hugs.

5. He laughed at things I said when I was trying to be funny.

6. There was still much he could teach me.

7. He always got the boat figured out at the cabin every summer.

8. He was a safety net for my Mom.

9. When I see pictures of him, I see a man who I liked and who liked me and my wife and my kids.

10. 28 years was not enough.

11. I feel nervous as I look forward to the rest of my life, that I won’t be able to get advice from him.

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April 2009