. . . just finished reading it to my kids . . .


Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From The Hobbit, By JRR Tolkien

Sorry! I don’t want any adventures, thank you. Not today. Good Morning! But please come to tea – any time you like! Why not tomorrow? Come tomorrow! Good bye! *** Dwarves can make a fire almost anywhere out of almost anything, wind or no wind. *** The less inquisitive you are as you go along, the less trouble you are likely to find. *** It is always very worth while to pick a troll’s pocket. *** Trolls are slow on the uptake and mighty suspicious about anything new to them. *** Don’t interrupt. *** Don’t dip your beard to far in the foam, it is long enough without watering it. *** Now it is a strange thing, but things that are good to have and days that are good to spend are soon told about, and not much to listen to; while things that are uncomfortable, palpitating, and even gruesome, may make a good tale and a take a deal of telling anyway. *** Even the plans of wise wizards and good friends go astray. *** Caves up in the mountains are seldom unoccupied. *** That is the danger part about caves: you don’t know how far they go back, sometimes, or where a passage behind may lead to, or what is waiting for you inside. *** Goblins eat horses and ponies and donkeys (and other much more dreadful things) and they are always hungry. *** Goblins don’t care who they catch, as long as it is done smart and secret, and the prisoners are not able to defend themselves. *** The riddle game is sacred and of immense antiquity and even wicked creatures are afraid to cheat when they play at it. *** A promise is a promise. *** Being made into supper is much worse than having none yourself. *** Trees are not very comfortable to sit in for long at any time; but in the cold and the wind, with wolves all round below waiting for you, they can be perfectly miserable places. *** Eagles aren’t forks! *** You ought not to be rude to an eagle, when you are only the size of a hobbit, and are up in his eyrie at night.

And in case you’re interested – here’s Part 2 and Part 3