Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From Calvin (From Calvin & Hobbes)

IT’S JULY ALREADY! OH NO! OH NO! What happened to June?! Summer vacation is slipping through our fingers like grains of sand! It’s going too fast! We’ve got to hoard our freedom and have more fun! Time rushes on! Help! Help! *** A new decade is coming up. Yeah, big deal! Hmph. Where are the flying cars? Where are the moon colonies? Where are the personal robots and the zero gravity boots, huh? You call this a new decade? You call this the future?? HA! Where are the rocket packs? Where are the disintegration rays? Where are the floating cities?  *** Here we are, perched at the peak of Mount Maim! Why? Because I like to experience life to the fullest! I say you don’t fully APPRECIATE life until you risk losing it! I like to stare death straight in the eye and make him blink! If your adrenalin isn’t pumping, you’re not really living!  *** Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. *** It’s sad how some people can’t handle a little variety. *** I’ve decided to be more of a “people” person, and make more friends. I don’t get enough presents.  *** You doubting Thomases get in the way of more scientific advances with your stupid ethical questions. *** I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m going to get some cookies! *** Well, I guess we learned a valuable lesson from this duplicating mess. And that is, um… It’s that, well… OK, so we didn’t learn any big lesson. Sue me. *** Questions pour down like the rain. Who ARE these mugs? What were they trying to accomplish? Why was Jack in such a hurry? And what difference does it make where they started from? I had a hunch that, before this was over, I’d be sorry I asked. *** Aw, Mom! Can’t I watch the next program? No, you need your sleep. C’mon. Can I watch another 15 minutes? Please?? OK, just 10 minutes! Then I’ll go straight to bed! Five minutes! Just five minutes, OK? Turn off the TV. Look, I’ll just watch a few more commercials, OK? See, here’s my favorite gum commercial! I guess that got pretty pathetic. *** Genius is never understood in its own time. *** There’s Venus. There’s Mars. And there’s Jupiter. And I’m STUCK here.  *** On a clear night like this, you realize how incomprehensible the universe really is. I wonder what early man must have thought as he watched the skies. He’d see he was an infinitesimal part of creation, but he’d have no understanding of planets or stars or comets or anything. Imagine how big and mysterious the night would’ve seemed to him! I’ll bet he felt very fragile and afraid, don’t you think? *** At 7:00am, Mom’s not very philosophical.

Advertisements