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Jogging should be Aerobic. If it’s not for you, make it so.

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Earlier this month, as a part of the Bethlehem Reading Plan, I was reading Nehemiah, and I noticed that at the end of many sections,  Nehemiah (the author) puts in little commentaries which are prayers to God. They seemed somewhat poetic to me, so I got the idea of compiling them all into a Psalm.

Here is what I ended up with:

Psalm Of Nehemiah

O Lord, let your ear be attentive,
   to the prayer of your servant,
and to the prayer of your servants,
   who delight to fear your name,
and give success to your servant today,
   and grant him mercy in the sight of this man.

Hear, O our God, for we are despised.
   Turn back their taunt on their own heads,
and give them up to be plundered,
   in a land where they are captives.
Do not cover their guilt,
   and let not their sin be,
   blotted out from your sight,
for they have provoked you to anger,
   in the presence of the builders.
Remember the Lord,
   who is great and awesome,
and fight for your brothers
   your sons, your daughters,
   your wives, and your homes.

The work is great and widely spread,
   and we are separated on the wall,
far from one another.
   In the place where you hear,
the sound of the trumpet,
   rally to us there,

Our God will fight for us.

Remember for my good, O my God
   all that I have done for this people.

But now, O God, strengthen my hands.

Now, therefore, our God,
   the great, the mighty, and the awesome God,
who keeps covenant and steadfast love,
   let not all the hardship seem little to you,
upon our kings, our princes, our priests
   our prophets, our fathers, and all your people,
since the time of the kings of Assyria
   until this day.

We will not neglect the house of our God.

Remember me, O my God, concerning this,
   and do not wipe out my good deeds that I have done,
   for the house of my God and for his service.

Remember them, O my God,
   because they have desecrated the priesthood,
   and the covenant of the priesthood and the Levites.

Remember me, O my God, for good.

Yet even more from the creative, clever, crazy, contextless people I work with.

Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From My Coworkers, Part 3 (The Last)

I’m an issueless guy most of the time . . . . Notice I said issueless, not clueless *** We need to cross the finish line no matter how ugly it is. *** We apologize for any incontinence this may have caused you. *** I think the first step in insurance fraud is not telling everyone you’re going to do it. *** You can talk for hours, but do it quickly. *** I usually eat lunch five times a week. That’s just how I roll. *** You see? He is the squeaky wheel and the rest of you are the quiet and not really working wheels! *** With other companies, ‘engagement’ means the executives tell you what to do. At <<our company>> ‘engagement’ means the executives kind of know what you are doing *** Okay let me get that in the minutes: << Person In Meeting>> suggests breaking your leg. *** Some of our products have more frequent flyer miles than a 747 pilot. ***  What could be more important than High Impact Demand Chains? . . . . Oh, new grand daughter. . . . Well, that could be one thing. *** God always appears to be on the side of big armies. *** He employs a power point technique we call “Purple Splotches.” *** And then without any tangential misdirections from Chris, we may get somewhere. *** If I, and this will be comforting to you, ever go crazy and come to work with a gun, I won’t shoot up our department. . . . I know where I’m going. *** You need to figure out how it can come out of the machine and <<slaps herself three times>> ‘You need to change the password!’ *** I love eggplants!

The Adventures Of Ogden: Man Of The Suburb

See All Ogden Stories See Why I Wrote Them

Ogden asked me to forward this to all of you.

To: RCS&DOASM Organization

From: B. Moss – Supply Chain Services – 225-7N-09

Announcement

It is a pleasure to announce the appointment of Sommerset Bickner to the position of Redbrick Operation Supply Systems Manager, Supply & Redbrick Materials Operations Divisional Management, Demand Chain Process Services, effective May 15, 2001. He will report to Ogden Fenfert.

In this position, Sommerset will be responsible for the design, implementation, testing, development, direction, organization, management, deployment, maintenance and design of our transportation, supply, purchasing and manufacturing redbrick systems processes and will directly supervise the Supply Management Systems Organization Process Supervisory Administration Team. Sommerset and his team will work closely with Division Center Marketing Plan Divisional Management and Area Demand Chain Regional Systems Operators to provide effective and robust processes and charge-groups in support of business requirements.

Sommerset joined the Company in Fipsburg, Idaho in the September of 1982 and since that time has held positions of increasing responsibility including Sweeping, Driving, Chair Management, and Customer Service Supervisory Advisement Appointments for Eyeware Materials & Product Directorial Control for CSTD. In 1987, he took a year off from this position to play the role of the King in Broadway’s “The King and I”. In 1994, he was appointed Supply Management Directional Operations Lead Project Leader, Corporate Regional Supply/Demand Chain Management and assumed his most recent position as Supply Lead Management Operations Managing Director, CHIN in 1998. It was in this role, when in 1999, Sommerset became well known in the company for making the bold statement: We should try to increase sales!

Sommerset has a B.S. in Garden Administration, a certificate in Developmental Developmentation, a Doctorate in Nursing and is APITS certified. At no time in his career has Sommerset been incarcerated for felonies committed in the state of Minnesota.

Sommerset will report to the author, until Ogden Fenfert finishes his current project (The Administrative System of Systems Administration,) at which point Sommerset will report to Ogden, as stated above.

Sommerset will be located in building 225-6W-12.

Please join me in congratulating Sommerset and extending to him your support and cooperation in this important assignment.

Berance Moss
Redbrick Computing System & Departmental Operation Administration Systems Management,
Demand Chain Administrative Logistics Operations Process Development Management and Services

If you’re walking through your town’s yearly fair and happen to get stung on your face (actually in the temple area) by some bee-like insect, that side of your face may swell up so that it looks like you’ve gained twenty pounds.

But only for 24 to 48 hours.

It might itch slightly also.

Ladies, I hope it does not give you hell. Anyone who would write these words is not a keeper, even if he’s a big time rock star.

Pause, maybe. I hope it gives you pause.

And yes, I listen to pop music.

My friend Abigail pointed out a blog post where several bloggers posted their attempt to summarize the gospel in ten words or less.

I have done that below, but before you look at mine, or the links above, try it yourself.

Here’s mine:

You sinned, deserved Hell. Perfect Jesus accepted punishment. Repent. Believe.

Or

 Perfect Jesus accepted punishment for your damning sin. Repent. Believe.

What do you think?

And now Abigail, how about you do a family wordle?

I give this book review (commenting on the book “Bad Mother”) in the Star Tribune a 1 out of 4 stars.

The review begins:

What acts of abuse or neglect inspired Ayelet Waldman to title her memoir “Bad Mother”? Did she lock the kids in the basement? Leave them alone while she went out bar-hopping? Fly into rages over the use of wire hangers?

Not exactly. Most of what Waldman calls “maternal crimes” are more like minor imperfections. She quit her job to care for her four children but felt bored at home. She serves organic foods, but one son eats a lot of chocolate. TV is forbidden on weekdays, but the kids watch “The Simpsons” on weekends.

Hardly reason to call Child Protection. . .

Agreed. So the book reviewer posits to the reader that these types of things are why she titled the book “Bad Mother”. And it’s not until the second to last paragraph that it mentions another detail.

Other events were understandably wrenching, such as the decision to terminate a pregnancy after a genetic test showed a chance the child might be born developmentally challenged.

Is this willful painting over or merely irresponsible ignorance on the part of the review writer?

Does she seriously not know that there are many who would call this deed heinous? Or does she just want to consider them to be negligible?

I’m also not fond of the last sentence:

Books like this are a reminder that if you care enough to wonder at all, you’re probably doing OK.

Hmmm, so there is no abusive parent that wonders. Is that what you’re saying?

Don’t say “It’s August? The summer is almost over!”

Rather, ask “How can I, today, enjoy God’s glory in a way that I can’t in winter?”

So on Saturday my kids threw snowballs and my fingers experienced a slight case of frost bite.

How?

Answer in the comments.

More from the creative, clever, crazy, contextless people I work with.

Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From My Coworkers, Part 2

I better get to work. Karen’s knuckles are turning white. *** I spent the holidays skiing with my children, all of them younger than myself. *** It’s been broken for 100 years. It doesn’t have to be fixed tomorrow; It can wait until next week. *** I used to be many things and nice is one of them. *** How do you know if it’s not edible until you take a bite? *** Someone moved your cheese, it looks like! ‘No, I’m going to wait for my cheese right here in Microsoft Access.’ *** If I would have to give him the Heimlich maneuver, I’d freak out! *** Scott, RDC Test looks fine. I know I didn’t state any specific goals or performance objectives; I tend to be an informal type of project leader. So it’s probably my fault for not indicating it in my request, but I really would like to see JUNE data in the test file. Thanks!! *** We should just send a message out and say ‘You’re a putz and you should fix it.’ *** My only two requirements in a woman is she has to breathe and ski. *** Hi, I’m a 43 year old mother of 3 and I’m working on something with some people and I’m looking for a report. *** That’s another rule for the facilitator: ‘Don’t be too abusive.’ *** Oh my gosh! My last car had a steering wheel and this one has a steering wheel! *** That’s one thing you should remember about me: I can bounce back like a bad penny. *** We should call it the “Freight ‘We’re getting screwed’ Report”. *** Isn’t there a song like that – “Livin’ in an As-Was World?” *** I don’t know anything off the top of my head. It’s kind of thin up there. *** Well, thanks for showing the whole world that I stink, but now I need to know why I stink. *** It’s as pretty as shoes made out of silk with no soles on the bottom. *** There’s no logic in screwing me up.

This from Uncle Kracker

Another happy silly love song – awesome and sometime unpredictable melody. I note that towards the end the song writer intentionally rhymes poorly.

2. Africa – This one group in Europe makes 1980’s Toto song. But now really, does every single person in the choir need their own microphone?

Before you say bad stuff about Job’s wife’s response to tragedy, consider how you might respond if you lost all of your children, much of your property and now were watching your spouse scraping the sores off his/her skin.

I like to think she repented after Job’s rebuke.

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