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Yet even more from the creative, clever, crazy, contextless people I work with.

Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From My Coworkers, Part 3 (The Last)

I’m an issueless guy most of the time . . . . Notice I said issueless, not clueless *** We need to cross the finish line no matter how ugly it is. *** We apologize for any incontinence this may have caused you. *** I think the first step in insurance fraud is not telling everyone you’re going to do it. *** You can talk for hours, but do it quickly. *** I usually eat lunch five times a week. That’s just how I roll. *** You see? He is the squeaky wheel and the rest of you are the quiet and not really working wheels! *** With other companies, ‘engagement’ means the executives tell you what to do. At <<our company>> ‘engagement’ means the executives kind of know what you are doing *** Okay let me get that in the minutes: << Person In Meeting>> suggests breaking your leg. *** Some of our products have more frequent flyer miles than a 747 pilot. ***  What could be more important than High Impact Demand Chains? . . . . Oh, new grand daughter. . . . Well, that could be one thing. *** God always appears to be on the side of big armies. *** He employs a power point technique we call “Purple Splotches.” *** And then without any tangential misdirections from Chris, we may get somewhere. *** If I, and this will be comforting to you, ever go crazy and come to work with a gun, I won’t shoot up our department. . . . I know where I’m going. *** You need to figure out how it can come out of the machine and <<slaps herself three times>> ‘You need to change the password!’ *** I love eggplants!

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August 2009