For the past few months, our adult Sunday School class has been taught by Andy Naselli, who went through the book of 1 Corinthians. He led us in some very intriguing and helpful discussions about a wide range of topics sparked by this engaging epistle. He has the entire book memorized, and each Sunday he recited the passage that we were to discuss on that day. The emotion he put into Paul’s words made this part of each class a highlight.

Andy is thoughtful, caring and knowledgeable, and he’s also quite funny. I started writing down some of his more humorous statements.

Here are 28 of them, all completely taken out of context:

28 Funny Quotes from Andy Naselli

1. Microsoft Word doesn’t like Greek words. They’re all underlined in red.

2. [Describing what a diatribe is] You do both sides of a conversation. Like it’s kind of fun after an argument. You do this and come back and win it.

3. You guys are ESV Study Bible owners, probably. It’s the inspired study Bible.

4. [Regarding mocking Christianity] I’m sure it’s all over TV. Can any of you testify? Now be careful – don’t say “yes”.

5. I’m memorizing 1 Corinthians 13 and I’m saying over and over again “Love is not irritable” and then I have to spend time with my kids.

6. So Don, you’ll probably get this in Year 4. So don’t write all this down.

7. [Attempting to recite part of First Corinthians] Nevertheless … [to class] Right? … Yet? … Same thing.

8. I’m all about processed food.

9. I’ll answer my own question, it’ll be faster.

10. Tom is a hard core guitarist who likes drums, so he can be our stronger brother.

11. I’m not saying you should grow long hair. We’ll talk about that in chapter 11.

12. You might think your dog has a conscience. It doesn’t have a conscience.

13. Some people like to say, “Don’t go to fast food. Don’t go to fast food.” My response is, “What if it’s Chick-fil-A?” Gotcha. Because that’s Christian fast food.

14. [regarding the shortness of time] We’re on page five of eight. This is hopeless!

15. [While talking about the ‘Do not deprive one another’ section] Everyone’s afraid to talk right now.

16. This is the section I wrote my paper on [on head coverings]. This week I went back and read it. And you’re not going to see it, so don’t ask for it.

17. I wanted to show you my [wedding] vows. My vows have footnotes.

18. [When Andy found out his handout sheets were put together wrong – while reciting the “One body with many members” section] Someone’s head’s gonna roll. Just kidding! Just kidding! We don’t want that part of the body.

19. Did you say prophesy? No? I read your lips wrong. But you were thinking it, weren’t you?

20. If we’re late, and we are, it’s her fault.

21. Since you’re the longest standing member, I’ll give you the last word.

22. [at the end of a class] We’re done… But I’ll let one more [ask a question] because you have a sad face.

23. [After someone gave some advice to help with getting his computer working] Thanks, ‘reseat-your-cable’ guy.

24. [Regarding a controversial part of the Bible] We might think that, but is there any other text that might clarify? Let’s just read the next three lines and see what happens.

25. Do you know how big a question you just asked? I teach a whole course–four credits, and it’s basically that question.

26. [Regarding a portion of the last chapter of 1 Corinthians] If you think that was hard to follow, try memorizing it.

27. If this has any interest for you, there’s a book that I’d recommend that came out this month. I forgot the title but it has the word ‘trinity’ in it, somewhere, I think.

28. [After attempting to explain a confusing part of the text] I know that’s kind of lame. You try! [whispering] Really, I have know clue what this means. [Louder] Ready to move on? …. No, this isn’t of first importance, it’s of tenth importance.

By the way, if you’re interested in reading some Funny John Piper Quotes, here you go.

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