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Jason DeRouchie, who has, for several years, been a Professor of the Old Testament at Bethlehem College and Seminary is moving, and as of this month, he’ll be on staff at Midwestern Seminary.

fb0d3950-a252-40c3-ad22-9cd68c432032-jason-derouchie

Also for the last several years, he’s been the primary teacher for one of the adult Sunday School classes at Bethlehem. And since the beginning of his tenure there, I’ve been collecting quotes from his teaching times.

So to commemorate his departure (we’re sad to see him go), I’m posting them here.

There were so many, that I had to split them into two posts. Here’s the second (and last) set. (Click here for the first set.)

Funny Quotes From Jason DeRouchie
(To the Joint Heirs Sunday School Class)
Part 2 – The Last 28

1. At one point God called him to lay on his side naked for forty days. I hope he doesn’t ever call me to do that.
2. Isaiah said, “Here I am, send me” and we stop there and ask, “Who wants to be a missionary?”
3. My students ask: How can I experience affection for God while I’m translating Hebrew. ‘There are emotions being felt, but they aren’t affection.’
4. The Minor Prophets are some of the least known figures in all of the scripture. Part of the reason is it’s not too thrilling reading: “You’re a sinner and judgment is coming.” Great!
5. Boaz says to Ruth “I’m an old man, and there’s these handsome sleek bobsled racers that you could go after.”
6. Amos was told to name his second daughter “No Compassion.” This doesn’t nurture a loving feeling of oneself. Who are you going out with this weekend? No Compassion!
7. Some people are called to ministry in Hawaii. They can’t really have a complete understanding of the Bible, can they? Christian hedonism could not have been birthed outside of Minneapolis.
8. [Regarding the woman in Proverbs 31] She did what was necessary for the benefit of the family, but she did not necessarily have ongoing concurrent business in real estate, farming, tanning and textiles.
9. I always get leery of Bible math.
10. There are no right answers, wrong answers; I’m going to try to guide you in the way you should go.
11. Don’t trust in horiots. Horiots? Horses and chariots.
12. Most of the time we get to the end of Kings and we say, “All right! Chronicles! Nine chapters of genealogies! So devotionally edifying!”
13. Please open your Bibles to Zephaniah, second book of the Minor Prophets. No, sorry, tenth book of the Minor Prophets. No, Ninth book. It’s in the Minor Prophets!
14. Look down at the footnote: Footnote 1. “The meaning of the Hebrew is uncertain”. Great! That gives DeRouchie the idea that I can tell you what I think.
15. Let’s go to Deuteronomy 26. Everything goes back to Deuteronomy, doesn’t it?
16. Valentine’s Day rarely lands on a Sunday and when it does, it’s the only time I’m emboldened to print my handouts on pink paper. So, for the love of my wife I give you this.
17. But somebody asked ME the question, so I get to answer it.
18. Adam gets down to naming all the animals, but that doesn’t mean he has to distinguish between boxer and dalmatian.
19. I’ve got my calendar – I’ve figured out the whole schedule. Today, we can get through just verse one … and smile.
20. Look at that! Two verses! It’s only seven minutes ‘till! We’re flying!
21. Hopefully I’m here next year. Same bat-time, same bat-channel.
22. I don’t know if my wife heard me. This morning I was down in my study when I found this and was like “Whoo!” But I was so excited I found it and then … [to Teresa] Did you hear it? No, Okay. I was nervous because it was so quiet.
23. [At the end of class] Where is the attendance sheet? Ah yes, there it is. Half of you did not come today!
24. “Was it not you who cut Rahab into pieces and pierced the dragon?” That sounds good. That’s not very Anne of Green Gables. That’s more Lord of the Rings-ish.
25. Yesterday was a big day from my sons. They finally got their brother to say he’d vote for the Vikings. Because last week he so disappointed in the last play of the game.
26. Football is one of the gifts of God in our world.
27. I will remind you, my wife reminded me… that Derouchie can get to talking. So don’t be afraid to raise your hand and I will pause, if I am able, to call on you.
28. And finally this morning I found satisfaction in my interpretation of this passage, and God in his kindness, delayed this presentation until now.

Don’t say, “It can’t be A, it’s B!” when it might be both.

Jason DeRouchie, who has, for several years, been a Professor of the Old Testament at Bethlehem College and Seminary is moving, and as of this month, he’ll be on staff at Midwestern Seminary.

fb0d3950-a252-40c3-ad22-9cd68c432032-jason-derouchie

Also for the last several years, he’s been the primary teacher for one of the adult Sunday School classes at Bethlehem. And since the beginning of his tenure there, I’ve been collecting quotes from his teaching times.

So to commemorate his departure (we’re sad to see him go), I’m posting them here.

There are actually so many, that I’ll be posting them in two different posts.

Funny Quotes From Jason DeRouchie
(To the Joint Heirs Sunday School Class)
Part 1 – The First 30

1. We just got our kids Bibles. It was hard for me to buy them Bibles without footnotes. But they had really cool covers and that’s what they wanted. But you should get Bibles with footnotes!
2. The judges weren’t doing their jobs, so God had to send in the Special Ops, called the prophets.
3. [Regarding Acts 3:18 But what God foretold by the mouth of all the prophets …] What does he mean by “all?” I think he means “all.”
4. [Regarding Isaiah’s son] It’s an interesting name: “Maher-Shalal-Hash-Baz! Let’s go play kickball!”
5. Snakes! My wife hates snakes. She hates two things – tornados and snakes. And that has colored and created stories in our marriage. Specific stories.
6. [Regarding Isaiah 53:12] So when I got here I was scratching my head and all of a sudden, I saw that all the commentators were scratching their heads.
7. The Devil’s weapons – they might be squirt guns, but they look very real.
8. [When a colleague asked him to speak on missions from Creation to Consummation in 30 minutes] My daughter Ruthie said ‘Oh, Dad, he said thirty minutes, but you know he’s going to give you forty.” I texted this to him. He said, “Your daughter knows me too well. Yes, you have forty minutes.” I took 51.
9. Not that I have any experience with this at all, but the miracle of childbirth, which I witnessed three times…. Well, one of them I was a little out of it. One of us needed to deliver a baby, the other needed orange juice – my wife likes to bring this up – anyway, moving beyond that: Seeing this amazing endurance and then amazing joy.
10. I have students now that weren’t born when I got married.
11. The task for Biblical interpretation is not for wimps.
12. Before she moved out to go to college, our daughter Mary Jane was always the first person to get to the mailbox. By the time she got in the house, she was finished with thoroughgoing genre analysis.
13. [Regarding O.T. book titles] In almost all the old testament books, Yahweh is the main character in the book, but we can’t call every book Yahweh, Yahweh, Yahweh.
14. [Regarding 1 and 2 Samuel] Ultimately, I think it would have been better to call them “Dave”, First and Second Dave.
15. In 1993 I put a ring on my fiancé’s finger and left for 4 ½ months. Yes, I was a charmer.
16. [After a question] So what you can do is look in my book and find a footnote that I put in – that answers that question, which actually points you to an article I wrote.
17. [Regarding the phrase, ‘Love Me’] I’ve never said that. I’ve expressed thankfulness that she loves me. I’ve made the declaration that she loves me. But I’ve never looked at her and said, “Woman, love me!”
18. I don’t remember … X and Y … is X on the side or on the bottom. The bottom? Okay, thank you.
19. I tried to make copies for you, but it didn’t work, so I have some nice green paper for you.
20. God says, “Woe.” This isn’t “Whoah” like the Fonz. This is “Woe” like a curse.
21. Some of you were involved with helping my family. My Saturn had died, but now it’s resurrected.
22. They didn’t like Jeremiah, they preferred to kick him in the teeth and throw him in pits.
23. When I hear this about Jehoshaphat, I think, “Is he such a dork?”
24. I thought about bringing a picture of what I looked like seven years ago. Much less gray, that’s for certain.
25. Yesterday I pounded and sawed, building bunk beds and now my hands hurt because . . . I’m just used to typing.
26. I ask you to raise your hand if you have a question. Anyone who’s been in a class with me knows I can get on a roll. Harness me! Pull me back!
27. Me and Moses . . . I talk to him once in a while. “What were you saying here?”
28. And then that purity and blemishness … blemishlessness . . . lack of blemish. . .
29. Day 6 is cool not just because we are there but because the Moose is there. I love the Moose.
30. Now there are four oracles and I wanted to go through and discuss all of them, but then I remembered that you’re all supposed to go home this afternoon.

Click here to see the second set of quotes from Jason.

I’m glad you’re here. Please take a look around.

And while you’re here – can I suggest looking at two other things I’ve worked on?

1. I’ve been posting a series of stories for parents to read to their kids (and to themselves) which illustrate allegories found in the Bible.

2. We have six Fighter Verse Song CDs (for Bible Verse Memorization). Please take a look here:

(or go straight to the Amazon page.)

My Wife’s Blog

My State Park Blog

Promotion – Songs To Help Families Memorize Scripture

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