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Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From This Week’s Newspaper Comics

Moments of Household Terror: Stepping on something squishy in the dark. *** Rubber boots are all the rage these days. *** Is ‘all the rage’ a metaphor for ‘really stupid looking’? *** It’s a good thing I don’t know what metaphor means. *** There is no shame in fearing that which sucks indiscriminately. *** I’ll eat anything as long as it’s something I recognize. *** Somehow macaroni and cheese has lost it’s challenge. *** A noose is still a noose even if it says ‘Gucci’ on it. *** Listening to someone else’s problems always depresses me. *** Orthodontists speak fluent ‘Brace’  *** Moments of Household Terror: Finding a capless pen in the dryer. *** If wearing shades is cool, I figure wearing three pairs of shades must be three times as cool. *** I like simple foods, that’s all. I could probably eat the same thing every day. Surely there are others like me. *** It never fails. Just hint that some of their troubles might be with themselves and they get mad at you. *** When your horse has died, it’s time to get off his back. *** If you accept criticism, you’re doomed to believe it. *** It’s hard pretending to be a bomber pilot with such a little bomber helmet. *** Trust me, when they say don’t drink the water, DON’T  *** It’s never a good sign when the cook gets sarcastic. *** Remind me again why bonus is tied to the performance of strangers. *** I shouldn’t tell you this, but we model our employee compensation programs after practical jokes.

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Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From Calvin (From Calvin & Hobbes)

IT’S JULY ALREADY! OH NO! OH NO! What happened to June?! Summer vacation is slipping through our fingers like grains of sand! It’s going too fast! We’ve got to hoard our freedom and have more fun! Time rushes on! Help! Help! *** A new decade is coming up. Yeah, big deal! Hmph. Where are the flying cars? Where are the moon colonies? Where are the personal robots and the zero gravity boots, huh? You call this a new decade? You call this the future?? HA! Where are the rocket packs? Where are the disintegration rays? Where are the floating cities?  *** Here we are, perched at the peak of Mount Maim! Why? Because I like to experience life to the fullest! I say you don’t fully APPRECIATE life until you risk losing it! I like to stare death straight in the eye and make him blink! If your adrenalin isn’t pumping, you’re not really living!  *** Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. *** It’s sad how some people can’t handle a little variety. *** I’ve decided to be more of a “people” person, and make more friends. I don’t get enough presents.  *** You doubting Thomases get in the way of more scientific advances with your stupid ethical questions. *** I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m going to get some cookies! *** Well, I guess we learned a valuable lesson from this duplicating mess. And that is, um… It’s that, well… OK, so we didn’t learn any big lesson. Sue me. *** Questions pour down like the rain. Who ARE these mugs? What were they trying to accomplish? Why was Jack in such a hurry? And what difference does it make where they started from? I had a hunch that, before this was over, I’d be sorry I asked. *** Aw, Mom! Can’t I watch the next program? No, you need your sleep. C’mon. Can I watch another 15 minutes? Please?? OK, just 10 minutes! Then I’ll go straight to bed! Five minutes! Just five minutes, OK? Turn off the TV. Look, I’ll just watch a few more commercials, OK? See, here’s my favorite gum commercial! I guess that got pretty pathetic. *** Genius is never understood in its own time. *** There’s Venus. There’s Mars. And there’s Jupiter. And I’m STUCK here.  *** On a clear night like this, you realize how incomprehensible the universe really is. I wonder what early man must have thought as he watched the skies. He’d see he was an infinitesimal part of creation, but he’d have no understanding of planets or stars or comets or anything. Imagine how big and mysterious the night would’ve seemed to him! I’ll bet he felt very fragile and afraid, don’t you think? *** At 7:00am, Mom’s not very philosophical.

. . . Just finished reading the first part to my kids.

Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From Little Pilgrim’s Progress

I must go to the king, because I have a burden to carry and no one but He can take it from me. *** The King loves little children. If you will obey Him and begin your journey, He will watch over you al the way and when you reach the Celestial City you will be happy forever. *** “I love them that love me, and those that seek me early shall find me.” That is the King’s promise to all His little children. So do not cry anymore but go quickly to that gate and knock. *** Knock and it shall be opened unto you. *** The Way of the King is always quite straight, and all paths that lead out of it are crooked. And the wrong paths are generally wide, while the right path is narrow. If you look carefully, you will not mistake it. *** You must remember that everything I show you is meant to teach you something, and you may learn from this that it is not wise to wish too eagerly for pleasant things until the Kings sends them. He knows exactly what is good for each of us, and He will always give us what will make us really happy. If we try to be happy in our own way, we are sure to be disappointed. *** The servants of the Wicked Prince are always on the watch for careless pilgrims. *** He shall give his angels charge over thee. *** The King has been very good to you. You have met with some enemies and some troubles, but He has helped you always, and He will help you still if you trust him. *** He is our Prince, and He did not mind the pain. I must not, either, because I am the King’s servant, and it is written in my Book that the King’s servants are to be like the Prince.

Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From Calvin – Part 14

Here we are, perched at the peak of Mount Maim! Why? Because I like to experience life to the fullest! I say you don’t fully APPRECIATE life until you risk losing it! I like to stare death straight in the eye and make him blink! If your adrenalin isn’t pumping, you’re not really living! *** Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. *** It’s sad how some people can’t handle a little variety. *** Ow! What am I doing on the ceiling? Hmm… nothing else fell up. Just me. This is very strange. Even if I try to jump to the floor, I land back on the ceiling! My personal gravity must have reversed polarity! You’d thing this is the type of thing we’d learn about in science class, but no, we learn about cirrus clouds. *** Having my personal gravity polarity reversed is a nuisance. How am I going to get up to the floor? There’s not anything on the ceiling that I could even climb up. How am I supposed to do my homework when I’m trapped on the ceiling? It’s impossible. ***  Suffice to say I cannot add, so ask some other kid. *** I watched a nature program on TV last night. Afterward, I asked Dad if life was really nothing more than surviving long enough to reproduce before you became food for something else.  *** Oh brother! Another “discussion” about my study habits and the importance of homework. I’ve tried explaining that it’s hard to study when one’s size suddently starts increasing, but does SHE care?! Hah! No, it’s just blah blah blah, like it’s all MY fault! Mom’s never been as big as a galaxy, so she can’t understand how anyone ELSE could be! Sheesh. Oops, it looks like she’s wrapping up. Better start nodding. *** For “Show and Tell” today, I have something that will astound and amaze you! This little guy can… Have you all had your shots? *** See, it’s OK to fight just a little bit if you say you’re sorry afterward. *** Hi Mom! I’m making my own newspaper to report the events of our household. That’s nice. Now, I’m looking for a page one lead story. Can I interview you? OK, what are you cutting up there for dinner? Fish? Knife wielding mother hacks ichthyoid! Grim melee is evening ritual! Suburban family decours victim! *** Hi Dad. I’m making my own newspaper to report the events of our household. Would you help me out? Sure, what do you need? Well, you can take your pick. Either you can give me 15 bucks to pay my labor and production costs… Or you can be the subject of a comic strip called “Dopey Dad”. So in the next panel, Dopey Dad yells, “It’s bed time for YOU, young man!” Hee Hee! Look how big I made his mouth!*

 

*Please do not take this as an implied consent to Mockery of Fatherhood

 

Everything I Ever Need To Know I Learned From The Hobbit – Part 3 of 3

Never laugh at live dragons. *** Where there’s life, there’s hope. *** Third time pays for all. *** When the heart of a dwarf, even the most respectable, is wakened by gold and by jewels he grows suddenly bold, and he may become fierce. *** Up the bowman and down with moneybags! *** It is an ill wind that blows no one any good. *** Elves are light-footed. *** Cram is much better than nothing. *** The wealthy may have pity beyond right on the needy that befriended them when they were in want. *** Dwarves are sometimes lighter in word than in deed. *** Dwarves are exceedingly strong for their height. *** Goblins are the foes of all and at their coming all other quarrels are forgotten. *** I have heard songs of many battles and I have always understood that defeat may be glorious. It seems very uncomfortable not to say distressing. *** We will honor the agreement of the dead. ***  Merry be the greenwood, while the world is yet young. *** Even a burglar has his feelings. *** May your shadow never grow less. *** So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their ending. *** Sword shall be rusted and throne and crown perish with strength that men trusted and wealth that they cherish, here grass is still growing and leaves are yet swinging. *** A little sleep does a great cure. *** Merry is may-time! *** Share and share alike. *** Surely you don’t disbelieve the prophecies, because you had a hand in bringing them about yourself? You don’t really suppose, do you, that all your adventures and escapes were managed by mere luck, just for your sole benefit? *** You are only quite a little fellow in a wide world after all.

And in case you’re interested – here’s Part 1 and Part 2

Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From The Hobbit

(Part 2 of 3)

May the wind under your wings bear you where the sun sails and the moon walks. *** Don’t be a fool if you can help it. *** It is some good being a wizard. *** Don’t stray off the track. *** Don’t leave the path! *** You cannot quench a terrible thirst by standing under giant oaks and waiting for a chance drip to fall on your tongue. *** Don’t tell us about dreams – dream dinners aren’t any good and we can’t share them. *** It is horrible being all alone. *** No spider ever like being called Attercop and Tomnoddy of course is insulting to anybody. *** Long noses are sometimes useful. *** There is nothing in the feeling of weight in an idle toss-pot’s arms. *** There is no knowing what a dwarf will not dare and do for revenge or the recovery of his own. *** May your beard grow ever longer. *** Third time pays for all. *** There it is: Dwarves are not heroes, but calculating folk with a great idea of the value of money; some are tricky and treacherous and pretty bad lots; some are not, but are decent enough people if you don’t expect too much. *** It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him. *** Dragons may not have much real use for all their wealth, but they know it to an ounce as a rule, especially after long possession. *** Every worm has his weak spot. *** Lucky numbers don’t always come off. *** Don’t let your imagination run away with you!

And in case you’re interested – here’s Part 1 and Part 3

. . . just finished reading it to my kids . . .

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Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From The Hobbit, By JRR Tolkien

Sorry! I don’t want any adventures, thank you. Not today. Good Morning! But please come to tea – any time you like! Why not tomorrow? Come tomorrow! Good bye! *** Dwarves can make a fire almost anywhere out of almost anything, wind or no wind. *** The less inquisitive you are as you go along, the less trouble you are likely to find. *** It is always very worth while to pick a troll’s pocket. *** Trolls are slow on the uptake and mighty suspicious about anything new to them. *** Don’t interrupt. *** Don’t dip your beard to far in the foam, it is long enough without watering it. *** Now it is a strange thing, but things that are good to have and days that are good to spend are soon told about, and not much to listen to; while things that are uncomfortable, palpitating, and even gruesome, may make a good tale and a take a deal of telling anyway. *** Even the plans of wise wizards and good friends go astray. *** Caves up in the mountains are seldom unoccupied. *** That is the danger part about caves: you don’t know how far they go back, sometimes, or where a passage behind may lead to, or what is waiting for you inside. *** Goblins eat horses and ponies and donkeys (and other much more dreadful things) and they are always hungry. *** Goblins don’t care who they catch, as long as it is done smart and secret, and the prisoners are not able to defend themselves. *** The riddle game is sacred and of immense antiquity and even wicked creatures are afraid to cheat when they play at it. *** A promise is a promise. *** Being made into supper is much worse than having none yourself. *** Trees are not very comfortable to sit in for long at any time; but in the cold and the wind, with wolves all round below waiting for you, they can be perfectly miserable places. *** Eagles aren’t forks! *** You ought not to be rude to an eagle, when you are only the size of a hobbit, and are up in his eyrie at night.

And in case you’re interested – here’s Part 2 and Part 3

I was going through some file and I found something I typed up from my Men’s Retreat notes (from the fall of 2007 – yes, a year and a half ago). I thought it good enough to report here.

12 Funny Quotes From Greg Harris’s Teachings At Bethlehem’s Men’s Retreat

1. There’s a detail that’s overlooked by the hippies: We’re not birds. – regarding “Consider the birds of the air”

2. If you miss the springboard, you still end up in the water.

3. If you were a toaster, it would feel good to make toast.

4. Whoah! I feel a miracle comin’ on! – What a tele-evangelist would say in the Elijah/widow story

5. You always see the scene “Bring some hot water!”

6 . . And then the string is going ‘You’ve got children.’ – regarding what is keeping the Kite from flying away and what keeps the kite up.

7. Many wives feel like the bruised shins of a blind man.

8. . . . Now Joshua writes a book – with a bad title! – and it sells a million copies.

9. Nobody watches the launching pad after the rocket goes off.

10. You get to clear your throat a lot in Hebrew.

11. Some of you are thinking – where’s the action? Does anything get blown up? Well, there’s a crime scene. And there is a fire! – regarding the movie – ‘Avalon’

12. For lightbulbs, that would be the epitome of light-making – to be in the dining room.

Or if you like, my original Friday Everything Format

Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From Greg Harris

 There’s a detail that’s overlooked by the hippies: We’re not birds. *** If you miss the springboard, you still end up in the water. *** If you were a toaster, it would feel good to make toast. *** Whoah! I feel a miracle comin’ on! *** You always see the scene “Bring some hot water!” *** . . . And then the string is going ‘You’ve got children.’ *** Many wives feel like the bruised shins of a blind man. ***  Joshua writes a book – with a bad title! – and it sells a million copies. *** Nobody watches the launching pad after the rocket goes off. *** You get to clear your throat a lot in Hebrew. *** Some of you are thinking – where’s the action? Does anything get blown up? Well, there’s a crime scene. And there is a fire! *** For lightbulbs, that would be the epitome of light-making – to be in the dining room.

Have I mentioned that I don’t always agree with everything in my Everythings?

Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From ‘Ender’s Game’ By Orson Scott Card (Part 2)

Americans are quite apt at playing stupid when they choose to. *** If you’ve ever got an advantage over the enemy, use it. *** Influence is power. *** Real respect takes longer than official respect. *** Perhaps it’s impossible to wear an identity without becoming what you pretend to be. *** At some point, there must be trust. *** In the moment that when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then that very moment I also love him. I think it’s impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves. *** Power will always end up with the sort of people who crave it. *** Human beings didn’t evolve brains in order to lie around on lakes. Killing’s the first thing we learned. And a good thing we did, or we’d be dead, and the tigers would own the earth. *** The earth is deep and right to the heart of it, it’s alive. *** Nature can’t evolve a species that hasn’t a will to survive. *** I’m in favor of surviving. *** Humanity does not ask us to be happy. *** Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man stupid and blind in the eyes. *** Try not to be too arrogant about the victory. *** Get used to fighting without unnecessary waste. *** Strange dreams are a safety valve. *** All is not always as it seems. *** People always go. Always. They always believe they can make a better life than in the old world. *** Welcome to the human race. Nobody controls his own life.

Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From

R.A. Carlsen, College Professor (Part 2 of 2)

 

The Faith & Learning is an interesting question in science and mathematics. In my opinion, the better issue is Faith & Practice. This means you help your classmate, I help you (assuming that you have been in class) and we thus attempt to keep stress to a minimum. *** I will say things like ‘Jesus loves little children and linear differential equations with constant coefficients’. This is not taking a low view of the Bible but associating an idea with a dumb statement. *** Finally, don’t read the footnotes in the lectures that have been written out as they are reference for me. Remember what happened to Adam and Eve when they didn’t follow instructions. *** Do you know what a matrix is? How to multiply a square matrix by a column matrix? We are not going to do this today as the object is to find the edge. You have an assignment: rent the video and have a party. At Bethel? Yes. *** One should realize that in Christian circles the concept of salvation by grace is learned by repeated usage in sermons and most certainly in Scripture. Likewise, one can obtain a sensitivity to the distinction between, say, the Hamiltonian H and the Hamiltonian operator by repeated usage. *** Be creative in your thinking. *** . . . . The following verse came to mind from Hebrews chapter 11. That is, ‘Now faith is the substance of things hoped for. The evidence of things not seen’. Being involved with science most of my adult life, the idea of evidence is importance. The concept that I came away with was that faith, itself, was the evidence. Secondly, the idea of knowledge is of major importance because it serves as the basis for what we think we know. Notice that the verse talks about ‘Things hoped for’. What we have is the hope of ever lasting life.

During my Dad’s career as Professor of Computer Science and Physics at Bethel he self published (and printed out only one copy as far as I can figure out) 5 books from his lecture notes. Much of what follows is from that.

 

Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From

R.A. Carlsen, College Professor (Part 1 of 2)

 

Just when students become useful, they graduate. *** If you teach undergraduates long enough, you become one. *** Students test you. They want to see if you really can do this stuff that you teach. *** It’s always best to solve problems at the lowest level. *** There are two basic ways of learning physics: the inductive and the deductive (mathematical) method. We take the latter approach which means that we start with a set of axioms . . . The approach works well with students that are mathematically sensitive and being Christians, had and added advantage because they are used to an axiomatic structure for living which, clearly, is modified by the concept of grace in the New Testament. *** Analyze, then build. *** I used to tell my students at Michigan that Moses not only brought down the Ten Commandments from Sinai but that Maxwell’s equations were written on the back! *** Physics is best at describing the physical world rather than explaining it. *** In the beginning, God created the rectangular coordinate system. *** Realize that launching a course is one of the hardest things to undertake. *** The student has as an objective: to pass the course with a reasonable grade. The faculty is interested in the student becoming interested in ideas. These two objectives are in conflict at least in the beginning. *** Just one remark about grading. I know what an A student looks like. He/she has a very large bushy tail and bright shining eyes. This person gets an A and all other having a total number of points equal to or greater than this individual. The thing about grading is to be consistent. The B’s are something less than A’s and anyone making a reasonable effort should not get less than a C. *** Be creative in your thinking. 

This is the book that I received as my prize from the writing contest last fall. It is somewhat humanistic and fairly dark, but pretty good fiction. I hear there are other books in the series and I would be interested in reading them.

 

Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From ‘Ender’s Game’ By Orson Scott Card.

 

Sometimes lies are more dependable than the truth. *** It is forbidden to strike an opponent who lay on the ground. Only an animal would do that. *** We can’t plan on everything. *** Conscripts make for good cannon fodder, but for officers we need volunteers. *** People change in six years. *** People do strange things for religion. *** As far as the rest of the biosphere is concerned, we could be wiped out and it would adjust, it would get on with the next step in evolution. But humanity doesn’t want to die. As a species we have evolved, survived. And the way we do it is by straining and straining and, at last every few generation, giving birth to genius. The one who events the wheel. And light. And flight. The one who builds a city, a nation, an empire. *** Human beings are free except when humanity needs them. *** Individual human beings are all tools that the others use to help us all survive. *** If any of you are thinking about being trouble makers, at least be clever about it. *** If you can’t do it twice, you can’t do it at all. *** In every army, surely, there is at least one worth knowing. *** Soldiers can sometimes make decisions that are smarter than the orders they’ve been given. *** Fairness is a wonderful attribute; it has nothing to do with war. *** The world is always a democracy in times of flux and the man with the best voice will win. *** There is no combat without movement. *** Strategies and formations are nice, but they’re nothing if the soldiers don’t know how to handle themselves in battle. *** Knowing what a platoon can do is easy, getting them to do it is the hard part. *** I will remember this when I am defeated. To keep dignity and give honor where it’s due, so that defeat is not disgrace. *** One victory is not a habit.

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Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From Calvin (# 13)

 

You know, the world should’ve been designed so everyone didn’t have to eat each other to survive. There should just be fewer people and animals to begin with. And the world certainly could’ve used a more even distribution of its resources, that’s for sure. *** My junior scientist book says not to get discouraged by temporary setbacks. *** I’ve been thinking. You know how boring Dad is? Maybe it’s a big phony act! Maybe after he puts us to bed, Dad dons some weird costume and goes out fighting crime! Maybe this whole “Dad” stuff is his secret identity! Maybe the Mayor calls Dad on a secret hot line whenever the ciy’s in trouble! Maybe Dad’s a masked superhero! *** I’ve decided not to go to school this fall. I don’t need an education. I don’t need to learn things. I don’t need to develop skills. It’s too much trouble.  I’ll go on talk shows and hype myself. ***  Hold it. What’s the matter? Has this book been a best seller? Has the author won a Pulitzer? Did the New York Times like it? I only want stories that come highly recommended. Are there any laudatory quotes on the dust jacket? ***  There’s nothing like a good sneer to dry up conversation. With this sneer, I hope to be an unbearable burden at any social occasion. *** It’s only work if somebody makes you do it. *** There are just four simple machines to alter force. The lever, the pulley, the inclined plane, and, um, the internal combustion engine. *** Boy, when we’re the cover story of popular mechanics, I’ll have some choice words to say about family encouragement. *** Robots should be RESPECTFUL. *** All I’VE got to say is they’re not making ME learn any foreign languages! If English is good enough for ME, then by golly, it’s good enough for the REST of the world! Everyone should speak English or just shut up, that’s what I say!  *** They can make me go until grade eight, and then, FFFT, I’m outta here! *** Is it? It IS! It’s SATURDAY! Oh boy! No school! No homework! Just cartoons and fun the whole day long! HOORAY! Turn on the TV! Get out the cereal! IT’S SAAATURDAY!

Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From Indiana Jones

I don’t believe in magic, a lot of superstitious hocus pocus. *** I hate snakes. *** It’s not the years, honey, it’s the mileage. *** One of the great dangers of archeology, not to life and limb, although that does sometimes take place, I’m talking about folklore. *** I can only say I’m sorry so many times. *** Nothing shocks me. I’m a scientist. *** DON’T call me Junior! *** I’m going to continue to do things the way I think they should be done. *** I’m like a bad penny, I always turn up. *** “X” never, ever marks the spot. ***  Don’t get sentimental. *** In Latin Jehovah begins with an “I”!  *** I don’t like fast women. *** Nazis. I hate these guys. *** “X” marks the spot. *** Don’t be a child. Find something to fight with. *** You want to be a good archaeologist, you’ve got to get out of the library! *** Be careful, you may get exactly what you wish for. *** Take it easy. *** When it comes to scorpions, the bigger the better. Small one bites you, don’t keep it to yourself. *** You don’t have to get sore all the time just to prove how tough you are. *** Dance on your own time.

Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From Calvin  – Part 12

It’s a half-hour later than it was half an hour ago! Run! Run! *** I wish MY bathtub had an agitator. *** In MY book, food should be nutrition AND entertainment. *** I’m so smart it’s almost scary. I guess I’m a child progeny. *** People think it must be fun to be a super genius. But they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. ***  We super powers have it tough. *** There’s no delaying the inevitable. *** I’d love to start the week with a little hypothermia. *** Off to work, eh, Dad? Yep. It sure is a nice day. The kind of day just made for sitting under a tree and reading a good novel cover to cover, don’t you think? Too bad that’s a luxury at your age. Well, maybe you can do it when you’re 65. I’m sure you’ll be that old before you know it. Enjoy your day at work.  *** Dad sure is surly in the mornings. *** You know what’s weird? I don’t remember much of anything until I was three years old. Half of my life is a complete blank! I must’ve been brainwashed! Good heavens, what kind of sicko would brainwash an infant?! And what did I know that someone wanted me to forget?? Boy, am I mysterious.  *** Hey, Mom, did you know that gravity in outer space works as if space was a soft, flat surface? It’s true. Heavy matter, like planets, sinks into the surface and anything passing by, like light, will “roll” toward the dip in space made by the planet. Light is actually deflected by gravity! Amazing, huh? And speaking of gravity, I dropped a pitcher of lemonade on the kitchen floor when my roller skates slipped.

Back in my high school days, ELO was one of two band that I seriously enjoyed and got all their albums.

Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From Electric Light Orchestra.

 

Talk is cheap on satellite but all I get is static *** Mr. Blue Sky, please tell us why you had to hide away for so long. Where did we go wrong? *** All I had to do was pick up the phone – I’m out in space, trying to talk to someone. *** Just on the border of your waking mind, there lies another time where darkness and light are one. *** As you tread the halls of sanity, you feel so glad that you’re unable to go beyond. ***  You want to stay out with your fancy friends. I’m tellin’ you it’s got to be the end. *** When you see the shadows falling, when you hear that cold wind calling hold on tight to your dream. ***  I’m never going to be the same again. *** It’s a living thing, it’s a terrible thing to lose. *** When you get what you want, it’s a long way down and you can see for miles around. When you lose it, nothing is for real. If you see my dream, send it back to me. *** You can do most anything. Now you’re a 21st century man. *** A flowing river of illusion running with confusion Never gone – it goes on and on. *** The city streets are full of people going nowhere making time. *** The change from night to day is really only hours. *** Let that song ring out. That’s how it’s meant to be. *** Feel that rhythm and it’s really going to thrill your soul. *** Mr. Blue, you get it right, but soon comes Mr. Night, creepin’ over – now his hand is on your shoulder. Never mind, I’ll remember you this way. *** Insufficient data coming through.

Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From The Eagles

 

Some dance to remember, some dance to forget. *** I used to stay out till the break of day; That didn’t get it.  *** Don’t let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy.  *** It’s a hollow feelin’ when it comes down to dealin’ friends.  *** We can handle some resistance if our love is a strong one. ***  You can spend all your time making money. You can spend all your love making time.  *** Sometimes you’ve just gotta let it ride. *** <Insert the entire lyric set for Desperado here – e.g.> Don’t you draw the Queen of diamonds, boy, she’ll beat you if she’s able – you know the queen of hearts is always your best bet.  *** But things in this life change very slowly if they ever change at all. ***  You can see the stars and still not see the light. *** We make it harder than it has to be. *** That same old crowd was like a cold dark cloud that we could never rise above. *** It’s so hard to change. *** You can leave it all behind and sail to Lahaina just like the missionaries did. *** So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key. *** The big, bad world doesn’t owe you a thing. *** Find a place to make your stand. *** Some people like to stay out late. Some folks can’t hold out that long. *** Loneliness will blind you. *** Lighten up while you still can.

Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From Calvin’s Dad.

How can you stand these cartoons? They’re just half-hour commercials for toys. And when they’re not boring, they’re preachy. And these characters don’t even MOVE. They just stand around blinking! What kind of cartoon is THAT?  *** Ahhh, what a day! Up at dawn! Fresh air! Tranquility! No demands, no phones, no pressure! The whole day is one’s own! Isn’t this great? Isn’t this the life? *** Once upon a time there was a boy named Calvin, who always wanted things his way. One day his dad got sick of it and locked him in the basement for the rest of his life. Everyone else lived happily ever after. The end.  ***  Gee, I wonder where Calvin went! And his tiger’s gone too! Now’s my chance to get away before they get back! Won’t Mom be glad when she hears I lost them! What? You’re here?? Oh rats … I mean, good! *** When I was a kid, I thought grown-ups never worried about anything. I trusted my parents to take care of everything, and it never occurred to me that they might not know how. I figured that once you grew up, you automatically knew what to do in any given scenario. I don’t think I’d have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I’d known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed. *** The next time I see one of those smarmy Kodak commercials I’m going to put an ax through the TV. *** The sun sets in the west. In Arizona actually, near flagstaff.The sun goes out as it sets. That’s why it’s dark at night. *** You can’t believe everything you read. *** Once upon a time there was a noisy kid who started going to go to bed without a story. *** I’m going to the office and get some sleep.

The novel Blink, By Ted Dekker, is pretty good Christian Fiction. It has the same basic premise as the Nicholas Cage movie, Next (which is completely secular and came five years later). I generally like Cage movies, but Next isn’t his best.

 

The shared premise is that of a man who can see minutes, but only minutes in the future. And he can see several different scenarios. The book is better. I recommend it as entertainment, not literature. At the very least, it was a nice break after ‘Atlas Shrugged’

 

 

Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From Blink – By Ted Dekker

 

If God exists, he knows what will happen in the future *** Mohamed was not perfect. *** Hitler was a devout Christian as much as I am a toad. *** There is only one God. *** All evidence points to the existence of a creator. *** Prayer may just be the most powerful tool mankind has. *** Dear God, help me. *** We can always hope. *** Hindus have faith in what they can’t see just as much as Jews or Christians or Muslims. So do evolutionists. You can’t convince any of them that they’re wrong, because they ignore evidence in favor of what they want to see. *** Pray to Jesus. *** The future can be changed. We can change it. God can change it. *** God’s smarter than we are. *** I will die only if God has decided I should die. *** God of Jesus, hear our prayer to you. Make a way for your will to find its end in us this day. ***  Don’t lose faith. *** Accept the will of God. *** There’s always danger. *** God is indeed great.

Wednesday marked the end of my second year of blogging and for the second year in a row I will commemorate the anniversary by presenting:

 

Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From Jamsco’s Friday Everythings (From The Last 12 Months) That Have Only 3, 4 or 5, 6 Words*

 

Why Fight when you can negotiate? ***  Land is where you are safe  *** May the Lord direct your hearts. *** The Code is the law. *** Res ipsa loquitur, tabula in naufragio. *** Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. *** It is finished. *** Feed my lambs *** Tend my sheep *** Receive the Holy Spirit. *** Do not disbelieve, but believe. *** I got to rock the party. *** Vox can speak for himself, thanks. *** Jamsco is an intelligent man. *** Instinct, tigers are born with it. *** Girls flip for ties. *** I sure like summer vacation. *** Mothers are the necessity of invention. *** Our God is marching on. *** Fly Casual *** Let’s keep a little optimism here. *** I hate long waits. *** Don’t get jittery *** Never tell me the odds. *** Convictions are good, passions are better. *** They got a law about ferrets! *** Keep your burden checks! *** Flee youthful passions *** Avoid irreverent babble. *** Happiness is the agent of purification. *** Always be sober-minded *** Endure suffering *** Do the work of an evangelist *** Fulfill your ministry. *** The Lord be with your spirit. *** Grace be with you. *** You should be glad we’re alive. *** Chance is everywhere. *** Glory to God. *** What silly legs humans have. *** I have decided to serve God. *** The mighty are ever proud. *** It’s princes have all the fun. *** Even a traitor may mend. *** God is the ruler yet. *** Thanks to God for my Redeemer  *** Our God is on your side. *** Think with care, Lest you forget. *** The worst part is the waiting. *** I love disguises! *** It’s all in plato. *** Welcome, in the Lion’s name *** Genius is a superstition.

 

*Your goal should be to figure out where these came from.

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