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Ten years from now, everyone you know will be ten years older than they are now.

How’s this – too harsh?

The person who claps after someone says something funny is either saying,

“Look at us! We’re all bonding! With Humor! We should feel good at this gathering!”

or worse,

“Look at me! I’m a jocular fellow! I’m enjoying this humorous situation!”

Also, if you’re close enough to the clapper, the sound is as jarring as getting poked in the head with a pool stick.

There are two kinds of introverts: Those who don’t enjoy being with people because they are intimidated by them, and those who don’t enjoying being with people because they are bored by them.

I would be very hesitant to begin a sentence with, “My Spiritual Gift is …”.

There are two problems with declaring your spiritual gift (assuming you’re being serious):

1. It’s pretty close to acting like you have direct access to the mind of God on this issue.

2. It’s pretty much straight up bragging.

I’d just like to note in passing that the word “comfortable” is one that almost all speakers …
1. Mispronounce (Comfterble vs. Comfortable)
and
2. Use incorrectly or non-literally.

When we say someone is comfortable, we don’t mean they are are able to be comforted, but they are already comforted.

I’ve already listed two reasons why I wear a tie to church.

Here’s a third reason: My wife thinks I look good in a tie.

Your mileage may vary.

(By the way, Andy says this should be my first reason.)

I’ve already mentioned one reason I wear a tie at church. Here’s another:

I wear a tie so that other guys who wear ties don’t feel goofy or out of place.

The next time someone in your sphere of people bothers you because they are too nice, or too harsh, or too happy or two-level headed or too flighty or too … consider:

Perhaps God put them in this situation as a counter to your effect on it.

As I understand it, the English language (as used in America today) has two meanings for the word “Fail”.

1. Being unable to meet a goal (even if you did real, extensive and competent work towards meeting the goal).

2. Being unable to meet a goal because you didn’t really try or because you tried in a poor manner.

Generally speaking, our culture doesn’t call you a “failure” unless you’ve failed in the second way.

If you’ve failed in the first way, you needn’t be ashamed.

In modern day America, it is often the case that when someone says, “Thank God!” they actually mean, “Finally, I’m getting what I deserve.” So instead of humble thankfulness, this phrase indicates bitter entitlement.

This is very close to using the Lord’s name in vain.

 

In the entire set of lyrics in the song “Bless the LORD (Ten Thousand Reasons)” there is exactly one rhyming couplet.

I found this under the heading “Main Things” – in a document I wrote, dated 11/24/1998

Always do either what you should do or what you like doing. If possible, do things that are both, but never do things that are neither. . i.e. don’t do something you don’t enjoy just to avoid doing what you should do.

 

There are two kinds of people in the world, those who say “There are two kinds of people in the world, those who say ‘There are two kinds of people in the world,’ and those who don’t,” and those who don’t.

[I could have made this longer, but I was limited by punctuation]

 

 

 

 

While I don’t think that Sarcasm is always to be avoided, it does have it’s pitfalls. But here’s one suggested guideline – if you think you’ll have to explain that you were being sarcastic, consider not doing it.

The person who first asked, “Are you a cat person or a dog person?” was a dog person. Or (more accurately), an Anti-Cat person.

It’s not done until you do it.

There is no logical way to get from “He has no sense of humor about that issue” to “He is wrong about that issue”.

Here’s a good question to ask when considering spending money on your family: How cheaply can we live and still experience joy as a family and glorify God?

Sometimes I make notes to myself suggesting future blog posts topics. Recently I made this note:

“Ignorance still effective”.

Looking at it, I don’t know what I had in mind. Any ideas?

The Song “My Favorite Things” has been recorded on 35 different Christmas albums.

Also, the first 24 notes of the melody are Do, Re or So.

“The happy, optimistic lyrics—“Cream-colored ponies and crisp apple strudel”—are just a counterpoint and cover up an undercurrent of fear… the terror contained in the melody is still the dominant emotion”

Okay, going a little dark there, Wikipedia writer?

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