I present here 3,3,35 and 3.
3 Reasons for the presenting the new quote list now
1. It’s been more than a year since my last quote list.
2. It’s been what, nearly 5 months since we’ve heard new sermons from Pastor John? Maybe people are getting antsy for new Piper stuff.
3. As a warm up for next week’s conference.
And, as usual, 3 disclaimers:
1. All quotes taken from sermons
2. All completely taken out of context
3. None found in the Online Sermon Texts – but many are on the videos
And finally -
35 Witticisms From John Piper
- And it says, at the end of verse 9: ‘Now that was the Sabbath’ and you say, ‘Oh, no . . . . . Jesus! . . . Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday . . .
- . . . But that’s another sermon. And it’s really good, really precious. I haven’t written it yet …
- There’s no other way for the great commission to be done than for a group of people to learn a new language, cross cultures, incarnate the gospel, plant the church. There’s no other way. It won’t be done with twitter.
- We owe our lives to the death of Stephen. . . But you don’t have to wait for that to happen. So I’m suggesting that you not wait. He will do that. He’ll take somebody out. He might take me out. Tonight. That’d be cool. “Whoa! We better go!”
- I don’t know what kind of sentimental ideas you have about Jesus. Just read your Bibles and they’ll go away.
- Asking for a miracle is dangerous because you might become a charismatic, . . . or worse.
- So he’s talking to a person who knows everything you’re going to say before you say it. What would a conversation like that be like? “Why am I talking?”
- Pride never falls out of a chair in laughter.
- That was easy. Hard easy. Talking to anybody about Jesus is not easy but there’s hard-easy and hard–hard . . . easy . . . hard.
- Don’t think that Jesus is into crowds. Jesus is into individuals. Big time. Like you.
- No one laughed harder at my dad’s jokes then my dad did.
- So when I saw this announcement I parked way up in <that business> lot. I’m trying to set a good example. We don’t have any “Pastor’s Lot” at our church.
- Some of you are pathological with this and you need help. Others of you are more normally bad.
- I got all of those facts from this book. I’m not a genius. I just copied things.
- <At the Missions Week alter call> We aren’t going to play any music and no one is going to close their eyes. We’re just going to make this as hard as possible.
- One of the reasons that God made bread – really good bread, not bread that’s ninety percent air – German bread – is to give you a faint taste of heaven.
- At this point I realized that I didn’t get to the verse after which I had named this sermon, so that’s the name of next week’s sermon.
- So we’ve got problems with this verse <John 6:27>: Quit your jobs and earn your salvation.
- If you’re listening to ideas that aren’t this book you’re hearing the wrong stuff. Sects happen that way . . . That’s S. E. C. T. S.
- “And yet one of you is a devil” This is not encouraging to the disciples. . . . they don’t know who it is. I mean, picture me at a staff meeting . . . “
- That’s one way to read the scripture: Problems, problems, problems and then you die.
- God can’t be boring. The world is boring! Avatar is boring! . . . That’s not in the manuscript. It must be of God. You decide.
- So I’m not going to talk about any of that. I just did, but no more.
- You kids ask, “How’d I get here?” “God made you.” “How?” Whoa. Challenges! Join the club.
- It doesn’t save a kid to teach him the golden rule, but you teach him the golden rule.
- There’s a lot of bad theology in the Bible and the Bible makes it known. . . and there’s a lot of it in Job. Twenty-nine chapters of bad theology.
- There are no easy times for parenting. If you think it’s easy, you’re dreaming, or: Wait a few days.
- Daniel, Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obediah, Jonah, Micah . . . just struggle around until you find it. The minor prophets are the hardest books to find in the bible. Even for me after 64 years.
- ‘Don’t you know you will judge angels?’ I look at you. You don’t look like it. You will.
- “7 examples of God loving us for his own glory. Some of you are not used to this so get used to this. You might levitate.
- So if you sound liberalish one weekend and conservativish the next, so be it.
- Now, these are going to be a little bit longer. This is going to go up on the web Monday afternoon, so you can just relax, you don’t need to write this stuff down. If it sounds like it’s going to be helpful, just go get it . . . Don’t panic.
- We are, by the way, going to get to the text. Unlike last week.
- I don’t know about you, but I was really helped by my sermon last week.
- I hope that you twenty-somethings attempt more than most twenty-somethings attempt dinking around with their iPad.
- I’ve never told a joke from the pulpit for 30 years.
By the way, I’d love it if you’d comment and tell me what your favorites are.